Category Archives: politics

Aspiring


‘A 60 year old Health Care Worker should aspire to a better job.’

Malcolm Turnbull’s cover-up for his greedy tax-cuts to the rich.

Just what does all this ‘Aspiring’ mean?

It means that if you are one of the million unemployed, you can aspire to any one of the one hundred thousand jobs which are available.

If an aspiree is lucky enough to jump through the Human Resources hoops and gain one of those jobs then he, or she, can aspire to be promoted. Into a higher paid position, with higher duties.

A child-care worker, an excellent and highly talented child-care worker should, no, according to Malcolm, MUST aspire to a higher position. One in which the major part of the job is paper-work or man-management, NOT the child care to which the worker is best suited. Of course, Malcolm sees the fact that there are ten child-care workers and only one middle management position as no bar to aspirants gaining that higher position. Malcolm may not be very good at maths.

In other news, Malcolm, and his gold-plated predecessors, have set up a system where most middle level jobs have been cut out of most organisations. So there are even less of these positions available for the aspiring 20 something. Or even for the aspiring 60yo!

Of course, none of this is relevant because if you do not aspire hard enough you do not deserve that higher paid position anyway. Yet according to Malcolm, everyone has the right to aspire and that makes cutting taxes for the already successful the right thing thing, the fair thing to do.

As a young man I was, OK, I still am, besotted by cricket. My greatest desire was to play for Australia. I did all the correct things. I trained hard, I played hard, I bent the rules on occasion to gain an advantage. Yet somehow the call to higher duties never came. I did everything Malcolm suggests. I aspired with all my heart and soul, I worked at it so hard. Now, in my 70’s, in accordance with Malcolm’s advice, I still aspire and still wait for that call.

I aspired and failed. After all, there are several million cricketers in Australia and only 11 of them can be in that Australian team.

After all, what would happen if Malcolm’s day-dream actually came to pass? All aspiring workers got the higher paid jobs they aspire to.

Chaos! And Malcolm knows that. Everyone would be a Chief and no one would be an Indian. There would be millions of middle level and higher workers in Australia and just a single 60 year old Aged Care worker to do the work. OH! And that excellent twenty-something Child-care worker.

And me. Wanting to play for Australia.

Malcolm’s shouted strictures to ‘Be aspirational’ had their origins in John Howard’s fake dreams. They have inherent contradictions. He hopes that by shouting these words, these half-baked ideas, that the average person will leap into line and believe him. That they will feel a guilt for not being sufficiently aspirational.

I have an aspiration. And that is to see this deluded autocratic loud-mouth removed from his position.

The Funeral.


A Coalition Parliamentarian died and his friends realised that it would be against the deceased member’s ethics for him to pay for anything out of his own pocket.

So one of those friends went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.

A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.

“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Coalition Member? Here’s a hundred – go bury ten of them!”

The Secret Message


A One Nation Senator sent a letter to the Government Minister for Science, Greg Hunt, asking for information about UFO sightings and if it might fund UFO research.

After several weeks, Greg Hunt wrote back, “jang vIDa je due luq … ach ghotvam’e’ QI’yaH devolve qaS.”

The Senator was totally confused and asked around his office for anyone who may know what it meant. No one did.

So he went to his Leader’s office and no one on Senator Hanson’s staff had a clue, either.

Eventually the Senator decided that there was one person who may know about foreign languages. So he went to the Minister for Immigration and Border Security.

Mr Dutton was able to translate it because it was in his native tongue. The message read, “The minister will reply in due course. However, this is a non-devolved matter,” in Klingon.

Contracting


Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at Kirrabilli House. One is from Brisbane, another is from Adelaide, and the third is from Hobart. All three go with a Coalition appointed bureaucrat to examine the fence.

The contractor from Hobart takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The Adelaide contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The Brisbane contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the Government bureaucrat and whispers, “$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Brisbane contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Adelaide to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the Coalition appointed bureaucrat.

And that, my friends, is how Australia’s new Jobson Growth plan will work.

Vote Buying


Malcolm Turnbull was in a bar and he paid for a woman’s drink.

She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had bought her a beer.

“We have an election coming up and I’m running for Prime Minister,” he told her, “I want your vote.”

“You’ve got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the greedy fool who’s in there now.”

Australian Elections of a Lesser Kind.


We have had two highly publicised elections this weekend. There was a much less noticeable one in WA for Colin Barnett’s seat of Cottesloe, won, as expected by the Liberals.

There was the South Australian election. Lost by the ALP after 16 years in office. Now that could be seen as a HUGE win for the Coalition and a HUGE slap in the face for Bill Shorten. Possibly some may see it as a slap down of long term Premier Jay Weatherill. In reality, the exact result was predicted after the compulsory post-election redistribution. Four ALP seats would be won by the Coalition.

Forget the hype and froth and bubble of the past couple of years, the Libs were going to win four seats and they did. Not because of anything the ALP did or didn’t do but because the State has a compulsory redistribution after every election. This includes a ‘Fairness Clause’. Those doing this gerrymander must take into account the result of the previous election and vary seats and seat sizes so as to even up the number of seats won. Last election the Libs lost on number of seats but won 53% of the vote. The redistribution had to balance that out. It did, the pundits saw what it had done and called this election three and a half years ago!

That was why the ALP increased its vote but lost the election.

It had nothing to do with Bill Shorten’s announcement about Franking Credits.

Had that announcement had a political impact we would have seen it in what was supposed to be the much closer election in Batman.

Instead, the Federal seat was won with an increased majority and really wasn’t that close at all. It seems the Kill Bill plan of the IPA/Liberal backrooms is not quite going to plan. Every time they think they have a winning strategy, Bill sails though it unscathed.

Allegedly, the great Chinese General, Sun Tzu, wrote something to the effect of not interrupting your enemy while he is making a mistake. Shorten is constantly criticised for not doing anything to drag the Coalition down. Yet why would he want to? With one Liberal PM deposed for losing 30 Newspolls in a row, and another about to reach the same landmark, it seems the Liberals are doing Bill’s work for him.

Instead, Bill is presenting policies. New policies. Not always apparently popular policies because the media, plaything of the big end of town, are going to be hurt. The fact that the average man in the street will benefit is never going to be publicised. Just the standard ‘Kill Bill’ tripe we have all become used to. Sadly, some members of the ALP have been taken in by this twaddle.

The success in Batman shows that the Shorten strategy is working!

The Great Superannuation Fraud


So the USA does not have enough money, despite all its ‘monetary easing’, to upgrade its aging infrastructure. Yet good old Aussie Homie, Malcolm, knows just how to help out.


‘Don’t worry, Donny old mate, we have trillions of dollars stashed away in our Superannuation funds. Here, have a few hundred billion of them. We’ll only charge you a couple of percent interest.’

Meanwhile, back in the real world, every person putting their hard-earned money into their Super Fund begins to worry just a little. Their Super funds have been investing and growing their money, GFC’s excepting, at around 6-8% a year. That is what Super is supposed to do. Grow your savings into retirement. Not at the 2% Malcolm wants back from his mate, but at something better than bank interest.

 

That is why there are fund managers. so they can find the best places to invest YOUR money. It isn’t Malcolm’s to throw around, it is YOURS! If any fund manager was to invest the super fund he was managing into a 2% return he would be fired! Yet that is what our money-wise PM is about to force on to all our super funds.

At this stage, the proposal seems to be around 10% of the total fund being forced offshore into very low interest rate loans. Doesn’t seem very much, does it? It will only affect the effective interest rate for the entire pool by about a single percent. Not very much until you factor in the compounding interest lost. Because it is the compound interest which make Super so affordable and attractive. When you retire you have a good sized nest-egg. Have you seen those ‘Industry Super Advertisements’? The ones which begin, ‘Same age, same income’? Those poor people who haven’t switched? Guess what! That will be all of us if Malcolm gets his way.

Or could this just be the natural outcome of the IPA’s plan to force Industry (Union) Super Funds to have outside (IPA or Liberal) directors on their boards of management?

How will the funds to be given away be chosen?

By lot? ‘Sorry, your fund will be earning 2% for the next 30 years.’

By Government decree? ‘All your funds belong to us!’

So that is a one percent loss, compounding, for all future retirees. At the moment. What happens next year, or the year after? When Good Old Donny needs another handout? Another 10% of the Super fund? When will it stop? Will it ever stop?

All our super will be affected, all of us will have less in retirement thanks to this misguided gesture of incompetent generosity.