What a pleasant life could be had in this world by a handsome, sensible old lady of good fortune, blessed with a sound constitution and a firm will”
― Stella Gibbons,
“Flora inherited, however, from her father a strong will and from her mother a slender ankle.”
― Stella Gibbons,
Men love women because they are the most beautiful creatures on God’s earth, women love men because chocolate can’t mow the lawn
“On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.” ― H.L. Mencken
Girls begin to talk and to stand on their feet sooner than boys because weeds always grow up more quickly than good crops. ~ Martin Luther
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was “a tent of lovers.” I wasn’t really listening.
Ever notice how most women problems begin with men? Men-struation, Men-opause, Men-tal breakdowns.
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
My wife said, “I was a fool when I married you.” I said, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.” That’s when the fight started
“People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn’t see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
Girls like semicolons because they get away with changing the subject half way through the sentence.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
I married beneath me. All women do. ~Lady Nancy Astor
A misanthrope I can understand – a womanthrope, never! ~~ Oscar Wilde
“Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.” ~ St. John Chrysostom (345-407 CE)
Do multiorgasmic women have plethoragasms?
Here’s to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. ~ Ambrose Bierce
“Men are superior to women.” ~ The Koran (c. 650)
Perception and the cloak put upon women as a result of perception, is a cloak just as easily discarded.
The woman that deliberates is lost ~ Cato
Woman should remain at home, sit still, keep house, and bear and bring up children. ~ Martin Luther (1483-1546)
In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman. ~ ~Lady Nancy Astor
Women have a way of saying things where you understand each of the
words individually, but when you put them all together they don’t make
any goddam sense to anyone, except to other women. ~ Usenet)
In the year 584 CE, in Lyons, France, forty-three Catholic bishops and twenty men representing other bishops, held a most peculiar debate: “Are Women Human?” After many lengthy arguments, a vote was taken. The results were: thirty-two, yes; thirty-one, no. Women were declared human by one vote! ~ Council of Macon
A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave.” ~ Aristotle (384-322 BCE)
BAUD RATE: Fee charged by loose women; usually $500 and up.
Don’t be a sexist, broads hate that.
I’m not really sexist, I just like to poke fun at lesser mortals.
Minnow goddess. Speaker to squirrels. Often taunted by trout. Almost entirely harmless.
The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities – a natural defectiveness. ~ Aristotle (384-322 BCE)
With women the heart argues, not the mind ~ Matthew Arnold
Woman who goes to man’s apartment for snack, gets titbit.~ Confucius
Women have got to make the world safe for men since men have made it so darned unsafe for women.
~Lady Nancy Astor
Women should be obscene and not hurt. ~ Cybe R Wizard
Women love the lie which saves their pride, but never an unflattering truth. ~ Gertrude Atherton
A woman was in love with fourteen soldiers; it was platoonic.
Blessed art thou, O Lord our God and King of the Universe, that thou didst not create me a woman. ~
Daily prayer, still in use, of the orthodox Jewish male
He who teaches a woman letters feeds more poison to a frightful asp. ~ Menander
Is eating cheese in bed with two women considered a fromage a’ trois?
One hundred women are not worth a single testicle. ~ Confucius (551-479 BCE)
The souls of women are so small that some believe they’ve none at all. ~ Samuel Butler (1612-1680)
“Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man, not rule and command him.” ~ John Knox (1505-1572)
WOMEN sit, or move to and fro—some old, some young;
The young are beautiful—but the old are more beautiful than the young. ~ Walt Whitman