About Pirates

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?  Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

How do pirates know that they are pirates?  They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Every normal man must be tempted,at times,to spit upon his hands,hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. ~ HL Mencken

Why did the pirate buy an eye patch? Because he couldn’t afford an iPad.

“…On deck, you scabrous dogs! Hands to braces! Let go and haul to run free. Now…bring me that horizon.” ~ Jack Sparrow

Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

Lest you start to covet the Black Pearl for your own, know this. The wind is her true master.  ~ Jack Sparrow

“Why is the rum always gone? [staggers drunkenly] Oh, that’s why.” ~ Jack Sparrow”

“Out of rum. Why? Why are we out of rum?” ―Jack Sparrow

One word, love; curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it’s like. One day you won’t be able to resist” ― Jack Sparrow

“Now, on deck! Batten down the hatches, weigh anchor! We sail…with the tide.” Jack Sparrow

We’ll glut the hold, With cups of gold, And we’ll feed the sea with ghosts.  ELP

Make fast the guns tonight we sail When the high tide floods the bay ELP

a sail ahead they spied
A galleon of the treasure fleet
The mizzen lookout cried
Closer to the wind my boys
The mad eyed captain roared
For every man that’s alive tonight
Will be hauling gold aboard ~ELP

Now open wide sweet heavens gate
Tonight were gonna
See if heaven burns ~ELP

Who’ll drink a toast with me
To the devil and the deep blue sea ~ELP

“So, if ye have what it takes to be a ruddy pirate, raise your fist in the air and let me hear you say ‘Arr! ~ Jack Sparrow

“Why is it always magic and curses and metal ships and weird little dolls?” ―Jack Sparrow

“Risky thing, helping slaves escape. If you’ll recall, slave hunters have large, fierce dogs, and they carry pistols. The slave hunters, not the dogs.” ―Jack Sparrow

How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?  He bought it on sail.

I don’t really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I’d be a contrarian pirate. ~ Todd Barry

I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid. ~ Jack Sparrow

Stop blowing holes in my ship! Jack Sparrow

A friend can betray you, but an enemy will always stay the same.

What did the ocean say to the pirate?  Nothing, it just waved.

Where there is a sea there are pirates.

The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great- grandfather was a pirate.

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?   One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.

Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

What does a dyslexic pirate say?  RRRRRRA!

Yarrrr! there be ony two ranks of leader amongst us pirates! Captain and if your really notorious then it’s Cap’n!

The existence of the sea means the existence of pirates. – Malayan Proverb