I’m cat-sitting for Schrödinger. I have good news and bad news.
Cats cannot be held guilty for their actions since they have no morals to speak of. ~ Elizabeth Peters
Aelurophobia – A fear of cats
All animals are equal but cats are more equal than others
All cats are right
All cats have the same name: The sound of a can opener
All the best races in the Universe are owned by cats
Allergic to cats? Don’t inhale any!
Am I to understand that you people sell dead, fried cats?
And God said “LET THERE BE CATS!” ….. And was ignored.
Are cats SUPPOSED to thump when put in a dryer
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
Buds will be roses and kittens will be cats.
Louisa May Alcott
But mommy, I don’t like cats.
Shutup and eat your dinner.
Can you imagine conning eight cats into pulling a sled?
Cat pelts are NOTHING like cats – especially in flavor
Cat? What cat? It’s a small dog doing impressions of cats!
Cataclysm: Bible study classes for cats.
CATALYST n. an alphabetical list of cats.
CATapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
Cat-A-Ract…Cats being questioned by the Spanish Inquisition
CAT-A-Tonic – when you’re out of gin AND hair of the dog . . .
Cats – they’re not so brave once they’re in a microwave!.
Cats also have nine wives!
Cats ALWAYS land on their feet? Maybe you don’t THROW ’em right!
Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won’t even let you throw them
Cats always land on their feet, but at 10 stories, it doesn’t matter.
Cats always sit on whatever it is you’re trying to read
Cats and MEN; No matter what you tell them, they do as they please
Cats and women do as they like, Dogs and men better get used to it!
Cats are already in touch with their inner kittens.
Cats are alright. It’s the aftertaste that bothers me.
Cats are always more sarcastic than dogs.
Cats are evil, and they must be stopped
Cats are fascists: THEY rule everything!
Cats are God’s way of saying your furniture’s too nice
Cats are good at tennis cause they got the guts for it
Cats are good for 2 things: Mulch… and…I forget.
Cats are great, especially with a white wine sauce
Cats are nice but does anyone have any good FERRET recipes?
Cats Are PEOPLE Too
Cats are transparent. Cats should sit in front of the TV screen
Cats aren’t pets; it’s their house and you just live there
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit to cause the most inconvenience
Cats can’t read and they don’t want you to, either
Cats don’t adopt people. They adopt refrigerators
Cats don’t want to own people. They prefer to lease with an option
CATS: Good for dusting high places.
Cats have 9 lives BANG 8 lives BANG 7 lives BANG six lives BANG
Cats KNOW how we feel – they just don’t CARE about it!
Cats Make Great Footballs If You Punt Them Right!
Cats (n): Nature’s pop up targets.
If you don’t give cats milk, they turn back into dragons
It is the goal of all housecats to become spherical
It’s either country music, or nine cats being tortured
Large cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone
Men with playful cats shouldn’t sleep naked
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
– Lazarus Long
No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats!
Owning a cat is like taking a prisoner hostage and hoping that at some stage the Stockholm Syndrome will kick in.
– Bradley Trevor Greive
Persian cats are good dust mops. Tie on end of a stick.
Pet peeves? I tried dogs, cats, birds, and fish – peeves are better.
Tag lines are like cats, you only think you own them.
To cats, the law of gravity is only a suggestion
Un, deux, trois – cats sank. More biligualism.