About Science (Sort Of)

All true knowledge contradicts common sense. ~ Mandell Creighton

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by the age of 18. ~ Albert Einstein

Common sense is not so common. ~ Voltaire

It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. ~ Sherlock Holmes

One had to be a Newton to notice that the moon is falling, when everyone sees that it doesn’t fall. ~ Paul Valéry

Why are things as they are and not otherwise? ~ Johannes Kepler

Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. ~ Albert Szent-Györgi

Those who are not shocked when they first come across quantum mechanics cannot possibly have understood it. ~ Niels Bohr

Science increases our power in proportion as it lowers our pride.
~ Claude Bernard

There is no adequate defense, except stupidity, against the impact of a new idea.
~ Percy Williams Bridgman

There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance. ~ Hippocrates

Anti-vaxxers? I prefer to call them pro-diseasers.
Somebody’s got to stand up for the rights of preventable diseases to kill children!!

Science is unable to explain why today’s world goes right on ignoring science–paying more tribute to superstition, totalitariansim, and war. ~ Malaclypse the Younger

70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.

“If you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything.” (Anon)

The speed of light is 1.8*10^12 furlongs per fortnight.

I’m cat-sitting for Schrödinger. I have good news and bad news.

What do we want?
Evidence-based decision making leading to effective change!
When do we want it?
After peer review!

Shroedinger’s Hamlet. “To be and/or not to be. There is no question.”

Never trust an atom. They make up everything!

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but ‘That’s funny…”  ― Isaac Asimov

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” Isaac Asimov

79.84% of all statistics are made up on the spot. The other 42% are made up later on.

And if you’re talking about Linux, then even if you’re talking about every user you’re not talking about “many, many, many people

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.”
Albert Einstein

Breaking the law of gravity isn’t painful; it’s getting caught that hurts

Apparently giving caffeine to spiders makes them spin really bad webs, whereas giving them LSD makes them more uniform and better. Imagine what the WWW would have been like if it had been invented in the 60’s

Did you know that liquids and electronics don’t mix well? The mixture almost always lets the smoke out, and as we all know, the captive smoke is what makes it all work. (Cybe R Wizard)

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
– Lazarus Long

Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.
– Lazarus Long

I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams

“In the beginning there was nothing… which exploded.”
The shortened Big Bang theory

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is a great deal of difference.

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”
Woody Allen

Interestingly, most Unix utilities have a command line option which will cause the system to rip the user’s legs off and beat them to death with the soggy ends. This is often the default behaviour

Isn’t it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?

Medeival Medicine: By 1380, medicine had advanced to the point where, though doctors were able to diagonose and give Latin names to over 3000 diseases, only 3 known cures had been discovered:
These were: 1. Herbs 2. Leeches 3. Saw it off.
Black Adder

… industry giant Microsoft Corporation… a company that has become
successful without resorting to software testing…

Actually, an oxymoron is more along the lines of a moron with an OH+ radical attached. Since both morons and free radicals tend to bind strongly to the first interesting thing that comes along, this is a match made in heaven

Motorcyclists provide an important service to the public in the form of organ donorship. Therefore motorcyclists should be held in very high regard and kept in peak physical condition until that day arrives. (Usenet)

MS-DOS is not a true operating system. It’s a program loader with a hardon and delusions of grandeur.

New theories happily illustrated by an assemblage of numberless converging rays from a most extensive circumference. – Sir William Jones

Microsoft: One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them, One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
Mike Adams

Philosophers say a great deal about what is absolutely necessary for science, and it is always, so far as one can see, rather naive, and probably wrong.
Richard Feynman

The plural of anecdote is not data.
Roger Brinner

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.
Richard Feynman

“SCSI is _not_ magic. There are _fundamental technical reasons_ why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then.”
— John Woods

The question remains of why e and pi arise in so many mathematical contexts: geometry, infinite series, complex analysis, statistics, etc, etc. I tend to think it’s an e-pi-phenomenon.

“The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity.”
Harlan Ellison

There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

“Truth decays into beauty, while beauty soon becomes merely charm. Charm ends up as strangeness, and even that doesn’t last, but up and down are forever.”
The Laws of Physics

Where facts are few, experts are many.
Donald R. Gannon

Murphy’s Law 1: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. (We all know this one.)
Murphy’s Law 2: Document! Document! Document! (All bureaucrats know this one because, when Law 1 applies, one needs to have one’s backside protected.)
Murphy’s Law 3: … (Nobody knows this one because Murphy forgot to write it down.)

~ Mike Fitz (The Blogipelago)

“Science is everywhere, even when you’re not looking” -Lurleen the Elder