Good Morning Danny, old mate.
Mmmm -umm – yes, this is tony.
Tony. The Prime Minister. Yes. That Tony. *lip lick* Well conned mate. You sure fooled the electorate into voting for you.
What? Of course you’re a mate. Just because we are on opposite sides doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.
I know you are starting work today and you ummm will be very busy. I remember how it was when I started. I had to look everyone in the eye and say that umm errr *lip lick* of course all my promises would be kept.
Well of course they got broken. That’s what happens to errr election promises. That’s what they are for.
You intend to keep yours? Bwahahahaha Settle down. You’re umm talking to me here. Not the errrr electors. You must learn to recognise your audience.
Yes, well. Anyway, just a word of advice. Don’t tie yourself down with all those silly promises. In fact I need you to look at that East West Link promise. Can you hold on a moment, Danny?
*mutes phone* Yes Peta, I’m just getting to that. If we can get him to dump the East West Link promise we have him just like we got Julia! *unmutes phone*
You there mate? Look, I have ummm promised that East West Link as a part of my infrastructure image.
Yes, I know you promised to cancel it if you won, but errrr you have won now. *licks lips* You don’t need to keep the promise. The voters will forget if we just sweep it under the carpet. Umm Just like they are forgetting my promise about no cuts to the errr ABC and ummm *licks lips* SBS. Like they have forgotten my promises on Gonski and Health.
Danny, Dan, Maaate, No need to yell. I’m just explaining how things work in Government. Hey, don’t hang up.
&^%##%^& and bugger the man – I’ll just have to go down there and punch a few &%$$#@ walls to make him see reason!