A Collection of Unforgivable Puns,

Shaggy Dog Stories

and Mangled English

But they all amused me.


Political Painting

Doggy Style


Savannah Rows

An Elephant Walked Into A Bar

Quizzed Out!

Ark To What I Say.

Moby He Got Caught Up

Teenaged Girls!

Proverbially Bad

School Daze

Me Smerising

A Fall From Grace


I know I need a small vacation

Cat Lovers, Look Away!

It’s THAT Long Word Again

Office Works

Is It Too Early For This One?

Attila Better One Comes Along

Bringing up the Rear

Fork Rhine out loud!

I Counted Three

Juvenile Rhyme

Crystal’s Crystals

Spanish Lessons

Film Noir

Shorter than Tolstoy!

A Tail of Piscatorial Love

Scalping the Guests

An Old Master


A Poet’s Dilemma

Reaching Olympian Heights

Squee Food

Pulman Heir


Middle East or Wild West?

Arms Race

Just Desserts

Punsonous Language

On The Point of a Needle

Broomin’ Marvelous!

Two Cans


Though Your Loans Be Tossed And Blown

Witchin’ in the Kitchen!

Fierce Tears The Result

Kindergarten Stuff

The Shotgun Effect

A Bit of a Fairy Tale

A Movie Violition

A Ghastly Tale!

The Service Desk

Scotland Needs To Be Independent Again!

What Does a Grecian Urn?

Sleepless in Tokyo



One For The Birds!


In a Delivery Room, Far Far Away

Bill, Board!

With A Fruity Flavour

The Ineffable Smoothness of Bald

Froggy Opportunity

Milk Shake

Get Your Teeth Into This One!


The 1002nd Tale

I Urned This One

Fishing For Laughs

Keep on Snacking


Mum’s Cooking


The Casting Couch

Float Like a Pirate

Following The Guru

The Butcher, The Chef and The Snags

Stock Standards

Proverbially Bad

I Need a Drink!

Wax Museum

Oops, I Did It Again

Poor Little Bunny

He Later Got Divorced

Opened Sauce


I’ve One; The Terrible


Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’

I Marks This One Down

Cinderella Doesn’t Live Here

Trouble in River City

I’m A Little Hoarse

Not The Strolling Ones


Wadi Sink This Low?

Tractor Tragic


What Does This BP?

I’m Not Bound For Nirvana

Chewing the Fat

Chinese Cuisine

‘Fraid He’s Mercurial!

I’ll Seat Here

I’m Going To Hell

And He’ll Lose Ya

Two Safarii

Tied in Knots

Medical Matters

A New Cocktail

I Fort I Knew This One

When Once I Was A Lab Rat

A Europun

This is not about Cam and Bert!

Not A Shaggy Dog In Sight

Before the Dessert Island

Hair Suit

It Begins on May 21st

It’s Not My Fault

A Heavenly Pun

Armadillos, Leprosy and God


A Cut Above The Rest

Measure of Success

The Floating Cross

Punish Passover

Tom Swift, Sheepish Driver


Poetic Licence

Dry Humour

A Red Tale in the Sunset.

A Strange Case

Avoiding Rommell

Blast Off Is On Hold

The Mole Hole

Planting the Dog

Feeding Seagulls

Alexander Dumas

I’m Just Hiving You On!


Some Sick Cat

A Handful of Puns

Cheaper Serves

Why Did the Ant Elope?

This Should Remain Unread

Not Billy May


Just Because of Rabbie Burns Night

Holmes Sweet Holmes

Is There a Badge for This?

Period Piece

Hot Nuns

They Ride Nortons!


Sun Deflector

Roman Football

The Oldest Question

Thinking Ahead

A Losing Bet

Again, I apologise!

An Artistic Failure

It Will Dawn On You.


Mull This One Over

Banking Troubles

Benny the Rod

Beating Depression

Strange Pub

Sunday Morning Coming Down

The River


Halloween Celebration

They Were Probably Swiss


This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You!

Feathered Competition

Not A Brazilian


Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

I Feel Sheepish

The Two L Llama, He’s a Beast

The Meaning of Life

Albert Ross

PG-17 Whales

One Plus One Equals?

A Pirate’s Treasure

Fishing For Fun

The Sixties, Flower Power and Hippies

Taxi Driving

Not in the Gulf

An History Lesson

An History Lesson

Sea Food

Coin Toss

It’s an Ill Wind

I’m in Dire Straits Now!


A Loser

Favourite Pets

A Thoroughbred One

The Wild West Was The Best

The Twins

Driving Miss Daisy?

Electrically Engineered

It Is The Good Doctor’s Fault.

Grazing Into Space



I don’t think I have ever done a Jewish joke.


An Old Fuel

Stand-Up Comic

Future Groaner

All That Glitters

Holy Orders

Perils of Golf

Tarzan and Jane

Maintenance Robot

Enough, Already!

The Bird Lover

Marriage Tales

Stock Market Fluctuations


Even Naughtier Policemen

Naughty Polar Bear Hunters

A Frozen Tale

The Coal Miner

Off the Coast of Newfoundland

A Nice Cuppa Tea

The Blue Volvo

Royal Antics

Toyota Salesman (PG)

Beware the Odes of Arch.

Feghoot a la Robinson

Stamp Collecting

Nobody’s Business But the Turks’

Dinosaur Mania

Old Ted

An Accidental Genie

Queen Victoria

Alexander The Great


Contented Cows

The Rancher’s Will

What Will The Gov’t Do Next?

Fitting Punishment

The Lion’s Pride

Shaggy Joe Friday

African Shaggy Dog

Shaggy Basketball

Shaggy Historical Site

Planetary Exploration

The Company Picnic

Shaggy Seasonal

A Hoary Shaggy Dog

Time Traveller


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