Scott and the Puppies

One morning Scott Morrison is out doing his Walking the Shire thing. He spots a man in a front yard with some cute little puppies. Leaning over the fence, he asks the man what sort of puppies they are.

“Oh, they are Liberal puppies, Mr Prime Minister.” replies the man.

“They are wonderful little puppies. I must bring my wife tomorrow so she can look at them as well. She loves puppies.”

“OK” says the man. “I’ll be here.”

The following morning Scott stops by again with his wife in tow. “And can you tell Jenny what sort of puppies these are?” asks Scott.

“These are Greens Puppies” the man replies.

“WHAT?” shouts Scott in shock. “But yesterday you told me they were Liberal Puppies.”

“Yesterday they were,” says the man. “But today their eyes are open!”

Peanuts

Pearls before Swine

Cyanide and Happiness

I Hate You, My Countrymen

I have lived in this, my country, all of my life.

I have cheered its sporting accomplishments. I have had a heart swollen with pride at its scientific achievements. I have loved it for its artistic triumphs. I applauded its “fair-go” attitude.

Yet now I find myself not liking my fellows.

We have become greedy and intolerant and gullible.

We had the best economy in the world, yet we demand more and feel aggrieved that we do not have it. We have become envious of all with a little more worldly wealth and have forgotten the wealth which our our country gives us for free. Its skies and seas and vistas.

We help create impossible conditions in other countries by invading them and when terrified people flee we refuse to help. We choose, instead to treat them as worse than our own criminals.

We have stopped believing the evidence of our own lives and choose believe the lies of those who would deceive us. Those who would take advantage of our gullibility in their lust for power and wealth.

Australia has men and women both good and ill. Yet, once led by people of the highest ability we have chosen to give that leadership to base men who have proven their felonious and corrupt character.

In a country which could have been great, I am, sadly, left with the words of Kahlil Gibran.

You, My Countrymen…your souls
Are like ashes which the winds
Scatter upon the snow, and which
The tempests disperse forever in
The valleys.

Fear not the phantom of Death,
My Countrymen, for his greatness
And mercy will refuse to approach
Your smallness; and dread not the
Dagger, for it will decline to be
Lodged in your shallow hearts.

I hate you, My Countrymen, because
You hate glory and greatness. I
Despise you because you despise
Yourselves. I am your enemy, for
You refuse to realize that you are
The enemies of the goddesses.

FaceBook Jail

Tired of being stuck in Facebook Jail for offending ‘Community Standards’?

Be quite worried.

Here is where You will end up!

And now I will offend community standards by suggesting that, sometime soon, the Zuck will take up the cudgels and begin cremating the identities of all left-wing netizens!

Summertime

With apologies to George and Ira Gershwin.
Ella Fitzgerald sings this so much better than I can.
So I won’t try.