Hoping to breed his female Cocker Spaniel, Gerald advertised for a male to service her. After a while the phone rang and the following exchange occurred.

“Good morning. I read your advertisement and I’ve got a healthy young Spaniel. Unfortunately I don’t have any pedigree papers for him.”

Gerald replied, “Don’t worry about that. Any Cocker dude’ll do.”


Giving Thanks

Leopards, Spots and All That Rot


In November 2018 Christopher Pyne announced the Parliamentary sitting days for 2019. While there were to be 22 of them until June 2019 we all knew that would be reduced because the Government would be prorogued at some stage to allow for a General Election. That meant we expected around 10 sitting days.

This sudden reduction in our Parliamentary system meant that the system of Government by degree which the Coalition had been working towards for six years had been extended. Not that we worried, Bill Shorten would soon be PM and everything would return to normal.


Instead we have had a continuation of the Morrison/Dutton-led reduction of Parliamentary responsibility. More and more, the Nation is being governed by decree and regulation rather than by properly publicly debated and voted-on Laws.

Sadly, for the IPA-led Coalition, there were still estimates committees which asked difficult questions, still the occasional Question Times in open Parliament where the truth may accidentally be exposed to the electorate.

Still it was so much better than before when the Government was fully accountable.


Suddenly Australia, and the rest of the world, was in the middle of a huge crisis of World War proportions. Suddenly a wartime-like emergency cabinet was formed which included the Morrison inner cabinet and their advisors along with the State Premiers. Significantly, the Federal ALP leadership was excluded.

The Parliament sat for a day to formalise the first of a series of emergency relief programs the, in an apparent panic of self-preservation, closed down until August.

Suddenly there were no Estimates Committee Hearings, no embarrassing Question Times to worry about or to be accountable for. Just a daily round of press conferences where the commandments de jour were handed down by our Ruler by Divine Decree.


The Prime Minister announced on 25th March 2020 (and I include it in full here despite it having been shared all across the main Stream Media until we have become sick of hearing it. You HAVEN’T heard, read, seen this? Where have you been? In some sort of Murdoch news vacuum?)    :-

Today I announce the creation of a new National COVID-19 Coordination Commission (NCCC) that will coordinate advice to the Australian Government on actions to anticipate and mitigate the economic and social effects of the global coronavirus pandemic.

The Commission will ensure the Government receives the most comprehensive advice to meet the challenges ahead to cushion the economic impact of the coronavirus and help build a bridge to recovery.

This is about working cooperatively across private-to-private and public-to-private Morriscum jelllyfishnetworks to unlock resources, break bottlenecks and fix problems so Australian families, businesses and communities are supported through the challenging months ahead.

Mr Neville Power has been appointed Chairman and brings both high level business expertise and a strong commitment to social issues.

An Executive Board of Commissioners, will advise the Prime Minister on all non-health aspects of the pandemic response. The Board will work in tandem with the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) Dr Brendan Murphy, who continues to lead the Commonwealth’s health response.

The National COVID-19 Commission Executive Board includes leaders across the private and not-for-profit sectors: Mr Greg Combet AM, Ms Jane Halton AO, Mr Paul Little AO, Ms Catherine Tanna and Mr David Thodey AO (Deputy Chair).

They will be joined by the Secretaries of the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, Mr Philip Gaetjens and Home Affairs, Mr Mike Pezzullo. 

The National Cabinet, comprising State Premiers and Territory Chief Ministers, continues to lead the national response at a government level. The Australian Government’s National Security Committee of Cabinet’s COVID-19 Taskforce and the Expenditure Review Committee of Cabinet continue to take decisions that determine the Commonwealth’s response to the global COVID-19 pandemic.

Porter sabretoothThe National COVID-19 Coordination Commission is about mobilising a whole-of-society and whole-of-economy effort so we come through this unprecedented health crisis.  The Commission will assist the Government to ensure all resources are marshalled to this vital task in a coordinated and effective manner.

At all times, our actions are guided by the best possible medical advice, while putting the economic and social wellbeing of all Australians front and centre of our response.

The NCCC will be based in the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet.  The existing National Coordination Mechanism based in the Department of Home Affairs, which coordinates the cross jurisdictional response to non-health aspects of the pandemic, will report to the Commission, as will the Coronavirus Business Liaison Unit based in the Treasury Department. 

So we are now being governed by a Junta of the Department of Prime Minister dutton, dark lordand Cabinet, Department of Home Affairs and the Treasury Department. In other words, by Scott Morrison, Peter Dutton and Christian Porter.

No Opposition, no public scrutiny, no accountability.

The process begun by Christopher Pyne in 2018 has now been completed. Our Parliament has been made redundant.

The Conservative Leopards may have begun handing out largesse to the masses in a desperate attempt to forestall a repeat of the French or Russian Revolutions but they have NOT changed their spots!

After COVID-19

I have been noting the excellent coverage by the ABC of the current COVID-19 pandemic. It has been comprehensive and, with the help of Dr Norman Swan, understandable.

There is one area in which it can be improved.

Yes, we need to know ‘new cases’.  Sadly, their continued use of the term ‘total infected’ is a misnomer because some have recovered and are now, theoretically ‘immune’.

The ABC could improve and add a column to their COVID-19 statistics.  We need to know how many have recovered! They are the herd who will protect us with Herd Immunity.

They are also the cohort which would make a very good source for nurses, carers, hospital cleaners, meals-on-wheels people and other front-line workers.

No longer able to be infected, sensible use of sanitising would allow them to do many of the tasks for which non-immune people require so much protection.

Obviously not all recovered COVID-19 patients would be interested in doing caring work but a reasonable percentage will be and they should be fast-tracked into those very necessary roles.

In this time of crisis, we need to use every resource at our disposal to lift our nation back to some form of normality.

Hallelujah, Federation.

With deepest apologies to the shade of Leonard Cohen.
I think you will know the melody.

Now, I’ve heard there was a secret prayer
That Scotty prayed, and it pleased his Lord
But you don’t really care for praying, do you?
It goes like this, the crime, the fraud
The minor rort, the major grift
The part-time PM destroying Federation


Your votes were weak but you acted strong
You claimed the win and gloated big
Forgot all the traps you set knowing you’d lose
They tied you to the Country Crowd
They broke your trust, and stole it all
And from your words they killed the Federation


Dutton then took all the power
And Angus took all the water
Barnaby took the office girl and you smiled
There’s no blaze of light on all the crimes
Rupert decides just what you hear
The stolen and the broken Federation…



The Sabre-Toothed Porter


Peter Dutton, with living eyes.