About Chocolate

A balanced diet is a chocolate in both hands.

There were some days that deserved to be drowned at birth and everyone sent back to bed with a hot brandy, a box of chocolates and a warm, energetic companion! ~~ ‘The Cipher’ Diana Pharaoh Francis

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

Broken pieces of Chocolate have no calories. They leaked out when it was broken.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.

The problem: How to get a kilo of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

If you eat a chocolate bar with a diet soda, then you negate the calories in the chocolate bar.

Chocolate symbolises, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality , gratification and love. ~ Karl Petzke

There’s no metaphysics on Earth like chocolates. ~ Fernando Pessoa

I’m devastated. Look at me. I’m actually eating chocolate. It’s the lowest form of chocolate. Fundraiser chocolate! ~ Victoria Chase; Hot in Cleveland

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare. Neither knew chocolate.

It is a fantasy of mine to be forced to eat chocolate. I’m being forced, right? ~ Melanie, “Hot in Cleveland”

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and no appointment is needed.

“Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.”

“As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.”

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.”

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
~~Charles Dickens

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate

Save the Earth… it’s the only planet with chocolate.

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands- and then eat just one of the pieces

A banana, some chocolate syrup, and thou<p>

A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the dessert plate

All right–hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt!

And God created Chocolate and it was GOOD\

Bed, Chocolate, and a hug help with PMS\

Bellybuttons are for holding chocolate sauce to dip strawberries in

Chocolate & Caffeine … the “other” vitamin C’s

Chocolate is the universe’s way of apologizing for entropy

Chocolate not found. (C)ry (W)himper (D)espair

Chocolate VS Sex: Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft

Does a chocolate fireman use a carbohydrant?<p>

Chocolate will be assimilated. Wrappers are futile!

Data, I’m going to dip you in chocolate said Troi, licking her lips.

Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians

Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate is a balanced diet

If it’s not chocolate, it’s not worth eating.

If no one sees you eat chocolate, it has no calories

If you swallow to the left side of the throat the calories don’t get absorbed.

I’ve been seduced by the chocolate side of the force

Tonight we’re having Chocolate Tribble Surprise

When all else fails, apply chocolate and lick to remove

You’re just being nice because you want my chocolate!

Coffee – until I get enough for its own page

Just the other day, I was in my neighborhood Starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. I was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the New World. From the Spanish exportation of Aztec cacao, and the Dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of Hershey, PA, and the lifestyle marketing of Seattle’s Starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top. ~ Sarah Vowell

You have not had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine – while it is running!

Chocolate & Caffeine … the “other” vitamin C’s

To espresso or to latte, that is the question…whether ’tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain…or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one’s heartache… Jasper Fforde

First you buy me a mocha. Then you let me help you hide a body. Now you take me to a biker clubhouse. Best. Day. Ever.   ~ Kelley Armstrong

Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore,
Mocha, far off, the fragrant berries bore.
Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip,
Digestion waits on pleasure as you sip.
~Pope Leo XII

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself. ~ Mark Helprin

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. ~ Lewis Black

My dream is to have a house on the beach, even just a little shack somewhere so I can wake up, have coffee, look at dolphins, be quiet and breathe the air.~ Christina Applegate

I’m not one of those people who wakes up and thinks, ‘Bring on the day!’ I have to have about 7 pints of coffee before I’m even remotely awake.

To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions. ~ Hugh Jackman

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. ~ Fran Drescher

We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. ~ T. S. Eliot

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. ~ Ronald Reagan

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. ~ Earl Wilson

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. ~ Paul Erdos

I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can’t go back. You cannot go back. ~ Hugh Laurie

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ~ Steven Wright

A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more. ~ Jayne Mansfield

Three hundred years ago, during the Age of Enlightenment, the coffee house became the center of innovation. ~ Peter Diamandis

Our printing press is the Internet. Our coffee houses are social networks. ~ Heather Brooke

Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future. ~ Ian Somerhalder

Democracy is not an instant coffee. ~ Mohamed ElBaradei

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. ~ Alphonse Allais

I love coming home to Melbourne. The first thing I do is have a coffee. It’s just so much better here than anywhere else. It’s better than in Italy and I travel a lot. I crave it. ~ Curtis Stone

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? ~ Jean Kerr

I know many people have said it before, but there is nothing a cup of coffee and a new pair of shoes can’t fix! ~ Marissa Jaret Winokur

I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t. ~ Martha Quinn

Coffee makes me go crazy. ~ Taylor Schilling

Australians are coffee snobs. An influx of Italian immigrants after World War II ensured that – we probably had the word ‘cappuccino’ about 20 years before America. Cafe culture is really big for Aussies. We like to work hard, but we take our leisure time seriously. ~ Hugh Jackman

I’m not a morning person: I can’t function until I’ve had a coffee – or several. ~ Alastair Reynolds

I’m a traditionalist, so for me, black coffee is cool. ~ Graham Elliot

Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot. ~ Vijay Kumar