Category Archives: Australia

Cannibal Cafè


A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down & looked over the menu….

+ Tourist: $5.00

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Coalition Politician $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over & asked, “Why such a price difference for the Politician?”

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.”

Anti-Vax Murderers


One of the joys of social media is the way people are able to find others of a similar mind on any subject. There are many groups which perform perfectly valid duties as conduits for political thinking; as support groups for those with various disabilities and disadvantages; as entertainment conduits.

Then there are those special interest groups which bring together people with rather strange beliefs.

Some of these groups are risible and elicit laughter and much mockery.

Of course everyone can see the Earth is flat and those foolish people who claim sphericality are demonstrably wrong. Many, many man-years of work goes into the production and dissemination of videos, articles and images to prove this. It can be very difficult to determine if this body of work is satire in whole or in part.

Then there are those who are extremely concerned about ‘Chem Trails’. I can’t even begin to conceive of the numbers of marbles on the floor when a group of these people get together. There are certainly very few marbles left in their headspaces. They lose them at a moment’s notice. Chem trails, those white condensation trails left behind by aircraft flying at certain heights and in atmosphere of a certain humidity and temperature. Yes, a shadowy group of people cause this natural phenomenon. For a very shadowy cause.

Of course we must recognise the ‘Moon Landing Hoax’ and the ‘Twin Towers’ conspiracy theories. That such large conspiracies could exist without any individual within those conspiracies breaking ranks is not at all credible. Someone, somewhere, would tell the ‘truth’ to an avidly waiting public.

Those groups are rightly the subject of humour and mockery.

Next we look at the greatest conspiracy of all. Those greedy scientists who are falsifying all the weather data so that they can continue to receive huge financial rewards from – – sorry, I have never worked out who is paying those thousands of scientists. I do know the whistle-blowers on this scandal receive miserly million-dollar incomes from oil and gas companies.

Finally I will deal with the one group I have an actual hatred for. Those child killing ‘anti-vaxxers’.

As a family historian I have spent years looking at the effects of childhood (and adult) diseases on families from one hundred, two hundred and even three hundred years ago. Unchecked, the childhood memories which are but dim memories today, devastated families and communities.

Measles, Smallpox, Chicken pox, Diphtheria (oh! the horror of watching a young child die, gasping for breath as the white growth closed up its airways.), Polio which claimed several of my schoolmates 60 years ago, Mumps, hepatitis, whooping cough, the cruellest of all; all now preventable. By failing to immunise, parents are opening the way to a return of those diseases. Opening the way for thousands, millions of children to be killed by preventable sicknesses.

Poor, backward countries, those involved in interminable wars, are always vulnerable to a comeback of these killer germs and viruses. There is no excuse for rich, comfortable countries to ever be plagued with them again.

Yet well-off, comfortable people have chosen to decry the use of vaccines. They have chosen to murder their own, and others, children. Unable, or unwilling to see the difference between 1 in 10 children dying of preventable disease and 1 in 1,000,000 bad or allergic reactions. Continuing to spread the disproven autism allegations from last century is behaviour which should be treated as a form of domestic violence.

I will not make fun of this group of conspiracy theorists. I will call them what they are.

Murderers!

Do you remember Typhoon Hato?


Do you remember Typhoon Hato?

Strange. It only happened four days ago.

It was reported on ABC Online News.

 

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-08-24/typhoon-hato-hits-southern-china/8838850

Just this once.

How about Tropical Storm Pakhar?

Of course not. It only happened yesterday. And multinational broadcaster SBS reported it once.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2017/08/27/storm-pakhar-hits-hong-kong-and-macau

Pakhar effectively hit the same areas devastated by Hato.   Two really bad, destructive weather events within four days.

Here is the Video on Chinese TV at

And a still, for when the Vid is no longer available.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And you probably knew nothing about them.

Now have you heard about Harvey?

My point is made!

Image

Malcolm Roberts for Dummies


Australian Politics; Ouroboros Meets the Norwegian Blue


The Liberal Party is in the process of eating itself. Preparing for yet another Prime Ministerial Assassination.

Unable to any longer fit inside the broad church which it has always claimed to be. All its members are fighting for the few remaining pews.

It matters little who becomes or remains Prime Minister during the next few weeks. There is little chance of this Parliament lasting to the end of the year. With Section 44 in play we could see a loss of that one seat majority in the HoR. Further revelations are expected on a daily basis and the High Court is in for a busy time.

The only way they will win an election this year, or next year will be to have the full weight of the Murdoch Machine behind them. Sadly for the Coalition, there are splits within that machine as well. There are those money-worshippers who will follow Turnbull to the Caymans at every opportunity and there are those bigoted Nazis who desperately want the books burnt and the Duttonmeister to be in charge.

So the media (art) is imitating the Liberal Party (life). Sorry to have to explain a literary allusion but with the Naplan results just out very few in our society would understand it without a cheat-sheet.

To mix legendary allusions, the Coalition is as extinct as the Norwegian Blue of Monty Python fame.

Except that the worms escaping from its body are still eating away at what is left of our society.

 

Running Australian Politics


Scene 1; The Liberal Childcare Centre P/L trading as the IPA

Phone rings;

‘Good morning, Chief Child Wrangler speaking. Oh, it is you, Malcolm. Back from meeting that orange shitgibbon already?
……..Yes I have seen the Essential Poll this morning. You’re worried? What about, losing the next election?
……..Oh, about your own position. We shall have to do something about that. Look, we’ll throw it around in the sand pit at lunchtime and see what we can come up with.
………Yes, you too Malcolm. Bye.

Scene 2; same Child Care Centre, later that same day.

The Chief Child Wrangler is waiting on the phone.

Oh God, the things we have to do for this self-centr – – – Oh Good afternoon Malcolm. How are things at your end?
……. Oh! Dutton hasn’t returned a phone call. And Tony has made one? This does sound desperate,
……. Well, we have developed a plan and, if I may say so, it is a beauty.
……. It is similar to the way we removed both Rudd and Gillard.
…… Well yes, and the same as we used to remove Tony.
……..We will start that replace Shorten with Albo rumour again
……. Nonono, I know that it can’t happen until after the next election but the marks don’t remember that.
…….. Nothing like a little leadership destabilisation to swing the electorate
…….. The Murdoch Press and Leigh Sales have been alerted. They will be interviewing Richo and Latham tonight. Always good to have one of them spouting the rumours.
…….. Oh no. They will be very believable. And tomorrow we can add Marn Ferguson into the mix.
…….. That should swing around 3.5% of the electorate your way.
…….. Yes, I’m so pleased you like that plan. OK, Talk with you aging soon. Bye.

Scene 3; Same Child Care Centre even later in the day.

Phone rings;

Good afternoon, Chief Child Wrangler speaking. Oh, hello Mr Dutton.
……………………………………………………… Ahh yes, I hear what you are saying.
No, I agree with you. Malcolm has won the only election he can win and if we are to stay in Government we need to change leaders.
……… You would be an excellent choice, Peter. And I have just the plan, already organised. We played it out in the sandpit at lunchtime.  We were just waiting for your call.
……… Chris Uhlmann is the man for this. He has Tony, Senator George and Cory ready to endorse you and they will swing at least 3.5% of the electorate behind the Party.
……… Yes, yes, we were just waiting for your call. The plan can start immediately. Bye.

Image

Remembering on Anzac Day