Tag Archives: election

Two, NO! Three Questions.

Last week was a fascinating one for Australian political wonks.

Scott Morrison’s Government suffered a historic loss on the floor of the House of Representatives.

This loss was immediately turned into a claim that it showed how weak Bill Shorten is. Despite the fact that he won.  Political analysis can be strange, especially when it is done by an opponent.

Then we saw the unedifying sight of our Prime Minister and his head of everything to do with security loudly letting any people smugglers who may want to listen know that Australia’s borders have been smashed open by this small change in the law. Not a squeak from Bill Shorten about this apparent crisis. Just Morrison and Dutton. It seemed very much like a plea from our Governmental leadership for a pre-election boatload of asylum seekers.

Please give me another Tampa, two decades on.

In contrast Bill Shorten moved on to something which directly affects several million Australians. The quality of disability care.

That was when we saw the strength of Scott Morrison’s leadership.

The Senate, through Senator Steele-John, proposed a royal commission into the recurrent scandal. The vote was passed on Thursday and the bill was due to be passed to the House of Representatives. Strangely, Scott Morrison extended Thursday’s question time for the longest time it has run ever in the history of the Nation.

Since then Scott Morrison has been rejecting suggestions that parliamentary tactics were used to avoid a disability royal commission vote.

So why the bloody hell did you extend Question Time to ridiculous lengths?

Which reminds us of another question.

Why the bloody hell isn’t Malcolm Turnbull still Prime Minister?

Leaving a more important question to be answered



Pollylim; Tony Abbott

Obama Will Lose on Nov 4

Australian Election

Australia voted today.

In what may be the beginning of a new era, Kevin Rudd has replaced John Howard as our Prime Minister.

It seems John Howard has even lost his own seat in Parliament. Just the second time in history that a serving PM has lost his seat at an election.

No, I am not going to grieve. In my opinion Howard led my country back to the 1800’s in its ethics and work practices.

I am looking forward to the future.

101 Uses For A John Howard #101; Man of Steel

And so the Jon Kudelka saga ends. On election day 2007.

With a glance at the least publicised but possibly most pervading of John Howard’s pieces of dictatorshiplegislation.

The updated Sedition Laws.

Under which it would be possible to jail any leader of the opposition for trying to undermine the authority of the Prime Minister. Or even a Treasurer who plans to do the same thing.

As for voting against the sitting Prime Minister – – –

Well, he cant jail us all.

Can he?


Look, we’ve been awake for the past 72 hours having a bit of a read of the Anti-Terrorism Act, especially the bits about sedition, and we’d like you all to disregard the previous 100 Uses, forget you ever saw them, clear the cache, remove the hard drive and set it on fire and if you’re feeling especially patriotic and/or a bit peckish, eat the remains.We would like to vigorously refute any suggestion that he is in any way an evil Dark Overlord, obese simian, member of the order rodentia, one of the undead, seafood of dubious freshness or fruit of any description.

We would also like to especially resile from the complete misunderstanding that he might resemble a floating turd, be a receptacle for urine or is in any other way involved in the disposal of human waste. In fact, we would even like to say that in all likelihood he doesn’t even go to the toilet.

John Howard? Fantastic fellow. The great thinker and orator George W. Bush, President of our infallible ally the United States of America and Leader of the Free World once referred to him as the Man of Steel, relating equally to his Übermensch status as to his undisputed sexual prowess.

Whether it’s rescuing a cat from a tree, saving a drowning kiddy from the ocean or simply battling the overwhelming forces of Terror with his extraordinary magnetic powers, John Howard is the greatest ever Australian, living or dead, including Don Bradman, and our dearest hope is that his reign as Prime Minister of this Lucky Country can somehow be made permanent.

…can I go home now?

Thank you Jon, for the privilege of reposting this cartoon series. It has been a fun time and thoroughly enjoyable. I look forward to your 101 Uses for a Kevin Rudd.

101 Uses For A John Howard #100

Alas, once again the fuzzy little ewoks are in terrible danger.

Kudelka has written the script for Star Wars Episode 7!


Sure, a clone army of Cultural Stormtroopers is nice to have, but no Dark Lord of the Sith is complete without an invincible space station with which to destroy entire planets in a peremptory fashion. John W. Vader took delivery of his fully operational Death Senate after the 2004 election.Sadly, “fully operational” is never quite the case with your average Death Star. They never work properly and they’re always back in the shop. A particular problem with this one was a persistent squeak in the Barnaby Joyce, which is impossible to get parts for.

Nonetheless, it’s a good life being a Dark Imperial Overlord with the power to choke recalcitrant minions with a mere wiggle of the fingers. The black outfit, while not as comfy as the tracksuit, lends a certain gravitas and also makes you impossible to dack.
Until now, it’s been a bit of a doddle. Recent opponent, Kim Jabba the Beazley didn’t move very fast and nobody could understand what he was saying without subtitles. Chewbacca Latham howled a lot but ended up making a monkey of himself and that other chap Jar Jar Crean was quickly relegated to a non-speaking role for obvious reasons.

However, there’s a New Hope on the horizon. A young hero Kev Skywalker has appeared out of nowhere with a tousled mop of blonde hair. There’s also that Princess Gillard with the weird hairdo, but apparently her boyfriend’s a hairdresser.

Anyway, Darth Howard’s still got one ace up his sleeve. At the appropriate moment, he will reveal his terrible secret, Kevin… I am your father.

…which pretty much explains everything.

Election Thought of the Day

This is based on a reader’s comment I found while browsing through Kudelka’s wonderful “101 Uses for a John Howard.”

I was worried about the 70% of trade union folk “running government” when Labor are voted into office. Well, I mean, we already have, in our Coalition Government;

A failed priest running health.

A medical doctor running the defence portfolio.

A less than perfect banker running the environment.

A Foreign Minister who wears fishnet stockings.

And to top it off a surburban Solicitor as PM!

Is there something that I am missing in all of this??