Category Archives: humor

Sorry, Banjo Patterson


Once a jolly bagman camped by the House of Reps
Under the shade of a Caymans account
And he laughed as he watched and waited till the millions grew
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Waltzing Old Scummo, Waltzing Old Scummo
Who’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me
He laughed as he watched and waited till the millions grew
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Down came a new rort to live in the House of Reps
Up jumped the Bagman and grabbed him with glee
And he sang as he stowed that new rort into Caymans
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Waltzing Old Scummo, Waltzing Old Scummo
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me
And he sang as he stowed that new rort into Caymans
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Up rode the ICAC, mounted on its new writ laws
Up rode the Lawyers one two three
With that new rort you’ve got in your Cayman book
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Waltzing Old Scummo, Waltzing Old Scummo
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me
With that new rort you’ve got in your Cayman book
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me!

Up jumped the Bagman and sprang into the House of Reps
You’ll never find the proof here, he said
And his words may be heard as you pass by the House of Reps
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me

Waltzing Old Scummo, Waltzing Old Scummo
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me
And his words may be heard as you pass by that House of Reps
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me

Waltzing Old Scummo, Waltzing Old Scummo
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me
And his words may be heard as you pass by that House of Reps
You’ll come a waltzing Old Scummo with me

MORRISON’S ABDICATION!


Governments are elected because they win a majority on the floor of the house.

This means they are able to pass legislation they bring forward. The Opposition do not have the numbers to defeat the Government’s ambitions. That is what being in Government means. That is why we, the electorate, vote.

Today we heard our elected Prime Minister, leader of the majority party in the Parliament, complain that he could not bring his long promised Integrity Bill before the house because the Opposition did not like it and would oppose it.

Let me run that past my rather incredulous mind again.

The Elected Government cannot bring itself to bring forward a Bill the Opposition opposes. Despite that being the constitutional role of the OPPOSITION! It is there to OPPOSE, to hold the Government to account.

Yet Scott Morrison feels so threatened by the numerically inferior Opposition that he will not bring forward legislation if that Opposition doesn’t approve of it..

Surely this has to be the strangest action by a democratically elected Prime Minister EVER!

Scott Morrison has set a precedent here.

He now can only bring forward legislation which the Opposition approves.

Does this mean we now have an ALP Government in disguise? A Coalition Opposition sitting on the Treasury benches?

In all the years I have watched politics in Australia, I have NEVER seen a Prime Minister hand power to his opponents so clearly; so obviously; so blatantly.

No wonder the ALP is holding its policies close to their chest. It is now obvious that anything they may let slip will be taken up as Coalition policy and then the ALP will be blamed for suggesting it in the first place.

Morrison will whimper, ‘The ALP made me do it!’

And Australia will cringe, listen and read the Murdoch take on National Affairs, then vote Morrison back into a power he is terrified of using.

Who Is This?


In Perth’s CBD, between Hay and Murray Streets, is a beautiful and iconic Art Deco theatre and arcade named The Piccadilly.

But who is that on the right hand side?

I am now wondering how he managed to get onto a building from the 1930’s.

Then I realised. He is from the Olden Days Liberal Party!

It IS the – umm – Honorable – Simon Birmingham MP, isn’t it?

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Prime Invertebrate


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The Scomo Birth Certificate


The McMorrison Burger


McDonalds are being good corporate citizens here in Australia and are creating a new burger.

It will celebrate the Prime Ministership of Scott Morrisonl.

The McMorrison Burger. Just $6.95.

It comes with double cheese, fries and extra meat.

It says so, right there on the advertising.

Of course, when you get it, the price has an added $19 Robo-debt, the cheese has been removed after a NDIS independent assessment, there will be no sauce because the Prayer Room is closed for cleaning and you will never get the fries you were originally promised because they are not available on the Indue Card.

Oh, and it’s only got half the meat.

I’LL TAKE MY VACCINE, SIR!


I keep hearing joking comments about the Army taking over the relatively simple (in a bureaucratic sense) task of delivering the Covid Vaccines to ordinary Australian citizens.


Hardly surprising as the ONLY group of skilled public servants left in this country is the Military.

Decades of depleting the Public Service has finally come home to roost!


But Nations which rely on their military to do civilian Public Service duties work run a huge collateral risk – their leadership eventually sees themselves (often accurately) as more competent than the Government – – – –

and then take over!

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Dr Seuss: Scomo in a Hat


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Pezzullo of the Caribbean


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Refrigerated Shoes


Some Revolutionary Poetry


The Budget Reply Speech


Tonight, Anthony Albanese gave the traditional Reply to the Treasurer’s Budget Speech made on Tuesday night.

But the MSM (including THEIR ABC) will not mention his speech, replay it or allow the general public to see that he HAS done the work, HAS made the speech and HAS crucified the Morrison pack of jackals!Albo

In three days time we will begin to hear, again, the ‘Why doesn’t Albo ever say anything about the Coalition’s incompetence?’. Why doesn’t he ever take the Government to task?

While Albo did good, some people saw it, more people will see it from the Left-wing part of Social Media spreading of the word, in total, those people will be mainly the true believers and there will be insufficient reach to change the result of a Murdoch-organised re-election of a new Morrison Government.

Australia’s Leader of the Opposition has become a non-person in the Media.

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Josh Frydenberg’s Fudget


Scott Morrison and the Circle Flies


Old Sam had been a stockman all his life. Up in the Kimberley where his ancestors had lived for thousands of years.

As an Elder of his people he was sitting in the front row of a crowd being addressed by Scott Morrison on one of his highly publicised photo ops to remote Australia.

Scomo was explaining how the Coalition had done so much for the original Australians while brushing away the flies which gathered wherever there were mammals of any species.

Sam had been listening closely and noticed the problems Scott was having with those pesky flies buzzing around his head.

So he spoke up and asked, “Having some problems with circle flies, there, are ya, Scott?”

Scomo stopped rabbitting on about how good the Liberal Party was for Indigenous People and said, “Well, yeah, if that’s what they are. I’ve never heard of circle flies”.

So Sam says, “Well, circle flies are common on stations. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

Scott says, “Oh,” and goes back to talking about how great all the new Liberal Policies will be for everyone, including the group of stock-men sitting listening to him. Then after a minute he stops, looks back at Sam and says, “Hey! Wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s arse?”

Old Sam says, “Oh no, Scott. I have too much respect for politicians and the work you all do to even think about calling you a horse’s arse”

Morrison says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to his prepared slogans and half-truths.

After a long pause, in a voice the rest of the station workers can hear, Sam says, “Hard to fool them flies, though.”

Beetlebomb


Acquired surreptitiously from Phil who(m) I have neglected for far too long.