Category Archives: humor

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Sid and Sod #775


sid&sod775

The Battle Cry


onceupunatimered There was about to be a fierce battle in New Zealand many years ago between the British soldiers and the Maori tribes?

Lance Cpl Armstrong was said to have won the battle for the Brits.

You see the soldiers and the Maori warriors were facing each other and were getting ready to fight.

The Maori had done their pre-battle haka and Cpl Armstrong was loading the British cannon to fire when the locals charged.

Just as he was tamping the powder into the cannon with a ram rod the cannon fired! Blowing off the Corporal’s upper limbs in the process and hurling them at the enemy..

The moment the Maori saw what was being shot at them they thought, this is serious Haka stuff. It’s too much for us and they ran off the battle field and disappeared.

To this day whenever the British military is called to action you can still hear the battle cry in honour of Lance Cpl Armstrong.

TWO ARMS! TWO ARMS!

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Sid and Sod #774


sid&sod774

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Sid And Sod; #773


sid&sod773

From a Christmas Past


onceupunatimegreenThree men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

‘In honour of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said.

‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’

Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’

The Irishman replied, ‘These are Carols.’

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Sid and Sod #772


sid&sod772

We Won, You Silly Old Woman.


This morning I visited one of Premier Colin Barnett’s Billion dollar follies.

Elizabeth Quay2Elizabeth Quay.

Wandering around the unfinished and soon to be stagnant puddle which joins onto the Swan River I was stunned to find an insult to a woman I admired.

I only ever knew of Bessie Mabel Rischbieth as an old woman who wanted to preserve the good bits of Perth. I will avoid giving a biography of this suffragette and child-care advocate as those activities occurred before I was born.

It was with admiration that I read of this 85 year old’s fights with the establishment over the building of the Narrows Bridge and the filling in of much of the Swan River wetlands.  Of her opposition to turning Kings Park into an Olympic sized swimming pool and of the demolition of the old Pensioner Barracks in St Georges Terrace.

All causes a much younger, just married,  Ærchie quietly favoured in the days before he became an activist.

Bessie upset the West Australian establishment partly because she was a part of it, having received an OBE in 1935 and living in Unalla, View St, Peppermint Grove. The upsets were also because she espoused causes which cost conservative Governments and bureaucracies pet projects, votes and credibility. BessieR2

So it was with more than a touch of disgust that I found this insult to a woman of principle and character.

Her statue, in her characteristic shapeless coat and her parasol, placed in one of the central parts of this abomination on her beloved Swan River.

The powers that be have long memories and despite her death occurring in 1967, forty eight years is but an eye blink to an entrenched Public Service.  They have been unable to resist a not-so-subtle gloat.

The Establishment have said, “Now, you silly old woman, for the next century you can look at what we have done. We won after all.