Pedantus was speaking with his Roman friend, Literatus, about his proposed trip to the Greek city of Athenus.
“Ahh yes, a beautiful city with much history and architecture. A perfect destination for a learned man such as yourself.
“But be warned, Literatus, the highway is being upgraded by slaves who speak a very poor quality of Latin. You’ll notice it more as you travel closer to your destination.”
“In what way?” asked Literatus
“They use strange tense changes and incorrect verb endings,” explained Pedantus. “The very worst of all are the ways they mangle noun cases. “
“That sounds terrible!” a horrified Literatus commented.
“Yes,” explained Pedantus with a sigh. “The road to Hellas is paved with bad declensions.”
In 1873, a team of German explorers and their three dogs decided to penetrate the heart of the South American jungle. After twelve years, they had set up a fort in an Incan town, the centerpiece of which was a large idol with a huge ruby for an eye.
The German church had sent out their best man, Friar Wilhelm Werks three times to check on the progress of the fort, and each time the appearance of the idol had sent him into fits of screaming, complete with shouts, curses, and rending of garments.
Each time, he screamed so loud that he sent the dogs running for cover. And each time, he left with a warning that the next time he visited, the idol had better be torn down.
The commander of the fort, Hans Brickner, received a message that Werks would be coming to visit again in a fortnight.
He quickly called a meeting with his top commanders. All five agreed that the Friar would explode when he saw the idol still standing.
“But,” said Commander Brickner, “there’s nothing to be done. If we take down the idol, we will anger the local tribe, and without their cooperation we’re dead.”
His second-in-command, Herr Kommandant Wagner said, “In that case, we’d better make sure we put the dogs away.”
“You know how scared the dogs get when Friar Werks goes off on the Fort of Jewel Eye.”
Norelle was in a deeply committed relationship with a young man.
He was very supportive of Norelle’s sign writing business venture. So much so that he became a partner and learned the trade.
The major assets of the business were the paints and the templates for the signs.
Eventually, as happens in most relationships, a roving eye spotted an errant blonde and the young man decamped!
Taking with him most of the sign-writing templates.
Distraught, Norelle phoned her mother crying that she was in the midst of an ex and stencil crisis!
Fred was sitting in the pub talking with his mate Joe.
Joe had just explained that he was changing over to this new-fangled Bio-Diesel.
“Yes, you get some used fat from the Fish and Chips shop, add a few chemicals which you get back from the mix and out comes some good quality diesel.” Joe said.
Fred was a little disbelieving and wanted more information.
“Actually, it is possible to burn most vegetable matter. Corn, leaves, spices – - “
“SPICES?” Fred sputtered incredulously into his beer.
“Of course,” Joe said. “Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.”