Category Archives: humour

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Sid and Sod #775


sid&sod775

The Battle Cry


onceupunatimered There was about to be a fierce battle in New Zealand many years ago between the British soldiers and the Maori tribes?

Lance Cpl Armstrong was said to have won the battle for the Brits.

You see the soldiers and the Maori warriors were facing each other and were getting ready to fight.

The Maori had done their pre-battle haka and Cpl Armstrong was loading the British cannon to fire when the locals charged.

Just as he was tamping the powder into the cannon with a ram rod the cannon fired! Blowing off the Corporal’s upper limbs in the process and hurling them at the enemy..

The moment the Maori saw what was being shot at them they thought, this is serious Haka stuff. It’s too much for us and they ran off the battle field and disappeared.

To this day whenever the British military is called to action you can still hear the battle cry in honour of Lance Cpl Armstrong.

TWO ARMS! TWO ARMS!

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Sid and Sod #774


sid&sod774

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Sid And Sod; #773


sid&sod773

From a Christmas Past


onceupunatimegreenThree men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

‘In honour of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said.

‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’

Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’

The Irishman replied, ‘These are Carols.’

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Sid and Sod #772


sid&sod772

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Sid and Sod #771


sid&sod771