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Lance Cpl Armstrong was said to have won the battle for the Brits.
You see the soldiers and the Maori warriors were facing each other and were getting ready to fight.
The Maori had done their pre-battle haka and Cpl Armstrong was loading the British cannon to fire when the locals charged.
Just as he was tamping the powder into the cannon with a ram rod the cannon fired! Blowing off the Corporal’s upper limbs in the process and hurling them at the enemy..
The moment the Maori saw what was being shot at them they thought, this is serious Haka stuff. It’s too much for us and they ran off the battle field and disappeared.
To this day whenever the British military is called to action you can still hear the battle cry in honour of Lance Cpl Armstrong.
TWO ARMS! TWO ARMS!
‘In honour of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said.
‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’
Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’
The Irishman replied, ‘These are Carols.’