Emoticons for the Advanced Writer

Have you ever been overcome with an emotion but unable to find the right emoticon to express yourself?

It is a problem from which I often suffer. 😦

Here is a list of essential emoticons for everyday use.

*:0 = “MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!!!”

!,! = “Hi. I am a rabbit”

% = “I feel like I am a mosquito looking directly at you.”

|:( = “I am displeased with my unibrow.”

<:( = “Pointy hats make me sad.”

😡 = “Now my hat is upside-down and I don’t feel any better about it.”

(::::) = “I feel like I am the underside of a pregnant dog.”

:0& = “I LOVE PRETZELS!!!! NOM! NOM! NOM!”

:*( = “You make me cry sparkly tears.”

{:| = “I am a Frenchman.”

Q:| = “I’m Davy Crockett.”

:$ = “I am trying to look unimpressed, but someone drew a squiggly mouth over my real mouth and this must be terribly confusing for you. I am sorry.”

So, that will get you through most of today.

When will someone invent a range of eroticons to help in those barely whispered about cyberspace encounters?

Today’s final emoticon is

.

Which indicates that my world is imploding!

Received via email but Burgled from hyperboleandahalf.  ( I guess that makes me a fence)