Tag Archives: politics

The Lemon Picker

A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon grove seemed to be far too
qualified for the job.lemons

The manager frowned and said, “I have to ask you this; have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

He replied, “I have had lots of experience picking lemons. I’ve been divorced three times, I paid Bob Day a deposit to build my home, I found out my car has Takata Airbags and I voted for Malcolm Turnbull.”


Tony and the Puppies

One morning Tony Abbott is out doing his lycra overloaded bike riding thing. He spots a man in a front yard with some cute little puppies. Dismounting from his bike, he asks the man what sort of puppies they are.

“Oh, they are Liberal puppies, Mr Prime Minister.” replies the man.puppies

“They are wonderful little puppies. I must bring my wife tomorrow so she can look at them as well. She loves puppies.”

“Orright” says the man. “I’ll be here.”

The following morning Tony stops by again with his wife in tow. “And can you tell Pet – err – Margie what sort of puppies these are?” asks Tony.

“These are Greens Puppies” the man replies.

“WHAT?” shouts Tony in shock. “But yesterday you told me they were Liberal Puppies.”

“Yesterday they were,” says the man. “But today their eyes are open!”



tony relief valve

The Right and Polite Discourse

Political  discourse has always been robust in Australia.

We are proud of our free speech and ability to call an idiot politician a nong.

That “free Speech” has taken a right turn for the worse and now, in most countries in the world, what is happening in Australia would attract the attention of the security forces.  Although they all seem to be looking only at Left-Wing activities.

Not at the words appearing in print, on our TV’s and coming out of our radios.

Words which call for the death of, or physical harm to, our elected leaders.

In most countries, that is considered terrorism or incitement to terrorism. Somehow, it is all just good fun in Australia. Robust has taken on a new meaning.

Wendy Harmer has collected a list of ten insults and threats to our current Australian Prime Minister. Written like that they seem almost innocuous.

Here is another collection and this time the anger and hatred jumps out at you!

Can we please get back to calling our leaders “nongs”? It would be so much easier on our national blood pressure.

Journalists, Pollsters and the Focus Groups

Fill the pages with paragraphs, fill the screen with images.

Do it now and do it again tomorrow. Say and show the same thing if you must but do it with different words, do it with different pictures.

Create a story from Press Releases, create a scandal from whispered rumours. No time to reflect, no time to look for balance.

Just do your job and frenetically do it again tomorrow and tomorrow and the day after.

One sentence paragraphs decrease the number of words needed for a column. Use only the froth because the substance may bore.

Thank goodness for the polls every fortnight. Easy stories and a lot of interpretation which can be stretched out for a whole week.


The Polls which are conducted by the true faceless men of our society. Using questions skewed to produce the answers which are needed. Using theoretical demographics but never a person. An individual.

Forcing individuals into predetermined paths when people are never that simple.

This is what you think because I asked a question. The question was carefully chosen so that others can turn what you want and think into the answer they want you to want and think.


While in the hidden back rooms of the major political parties burnt out journalists and ambitious interns are focussing their thoughts not on the next election but on the next poll.

They have forgotten, or never knew, the long road between elections and have been infected with the virus of NOW!

The Other Party has a new policy which has gained a couple of polling points. It is successful so let’s copy it. NOW

So it doesn’t gel with the philosophy of our members. So what? We have to gain a couple points in the next poll. What do you mean? The good of the WHAT?

Look! A tree. And another tree. And yet another. So many trees.


All the while the individuals who made up the Parties are voting with their feet.

Unable to see a difference between the two coalitions. Beginning to believe a poll has a genuine meaning and effect.

Forgetting, in the overflowing sewer-pipe of “News”, that there is only one true and effective poll.

Not being allowed the time to think of the forest between now and 2013.


Whew, that’s another column finished. I wonder if the boss will let it through with all those very short paras. And the little pics. And I did cut out the bit about talented writers prostituting their talent. ABBA in the background doesn’t help. I had to take out “They are Rich Man’s whores” THREE times! I should be OK with the Lawyers.

Still all of that is done now. Off to the pub! Gotta listen out for what everyone else is writing tomorrow.

Oh wait! I’m not a journalist. I’m a blogger.

That’s right. I only have to write when I have something to say.

Read and Discuss

I found this snippet of a conversation somewhere on the intertoobz.It is an interesting take on Democracy as we know it in the West and on Human Government in general.

The country is largely led around, owned and manipulated by a surprisingly (in proportion) small group of people that sit at the top of the largest Corporations and have almost total immunity to anything beneath them.

They utilise tools such as Religion, the Two Party System and price control to manipulate the masses of humans that feed them and without which they would not survive.

Think predator-prey model, and they have a long way to go before they become threatened by lack of “food”.

Soylent Green *is* the people, it’s just that we aren’t invited to the meal…

Top 10 Internet Filter Lies in Australia

Lie #10: An ISP filter is the best option out there.

Calls to provide parents with tools to control their children’s access to the internet are well founded and practical. An optional, computer level filter would be far more efficient and cost effective without handing over unnecessary power to a government body. And this is the plan that Australians actually want. GetUp’s Galaxy phone poll found that 86% of Australians think that parents, not the Government or Internet Service Providers, should have the primary responsibility for protecting children online.

from an article by by Eliza Cussen on “The Punch”, an online discussion forum.

There are the ten big lies which our Government are telling us.Of course it will not help to simply cast your vote for the Conservatives. They would not dare to alienate the “Church Vote” by dropping the filter.

It will only filter “RC” content.” But watch how quickly a filter will quickly remove sites about “Bypassing the AU Internet Filter”.

Top 10 Internet Filter Lies in Australia

Lie #9: The filter would be impenetrable.

No matter how smart filtering technology may be, there is always someone smarter. The current model of filter has already been cracked. In fact, there’s a good chance your children can show you how. What’s more, organisations around the world are already developing ways to get around the filters of oppressive regimes. One that’s doing a particularly good job in helping Iranians get around their Government filter is Access Now (hyperlink:http://www.accessnow.org/), founded with the support of organisation’s like Avaaz.org, MoveOn and Australian organisation GetUp.org.au).

from an article by by Eliza Cussen on “The Punch”, an online discussion forum.