I tested this new “Writing Analyzer” which I found because I read the unmatchable Raincoaster’s most recent post on the “Shebeen Club” by giving it a sample from my recent “Aliens and Australians” blog post. I was deemed to write like :
I thought to myself, I did, Wow! That’s cool.
So I decided to do a control check and I tested a few paragraphs from my even more recent post on Religion.
And found that
So now I have this vision of Bertie Wooster with tentacles. Or of Cthulhu Himself with a Shoggoth named Jeeves.
From the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society Solstice Carol Songbook.
Don’t sing out loud lest you incur the wrath of eldritch horrors or appalled fundamentalists.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Cultist
Rudolph the Red Nosed Cultist
had a few insanities
and if you ever saw him
he’ll be chanting with great glee
Cthulhu fthagn Ia – aa
He is sleeping ‘neath the foam
as he stared out the window
through the bars where he made his home
Then one foggy moon streaked eve
Cthulhu came to say
Rudolph with your mind so brave
won’t you be my eternal slave
then all the other cultists
join Rudolph the mighty high priest
has joined Cthulhu in his lair.
It is so easy to forget that the sky is still above us after dark. We see and appreciate the stars yet we often fail to spot the eldritch beauty of a clouded sky with a near full moon shining through.
Here is one to bring out the closet Goths and any stray vampires we have in our midst.
A few days before the last full moon I was picnicking in the desert as I showed in last week’s SWF.
About an hour after that photo was snapped, I looked into the night sky and saw the thin cloud whitened by the light of the moon and the dark depths of space showing through the gaps.
A number of thoughts and images crossed my mind, including HP Lovecraft’s gothic horror title, “The Colour Out Of Space.”
Was the dreaded Cthulhu peering down on us through the gaps in those clouds?
As I said at the start, one for the Goths amongst us.
Click on the image for a full sized version.
I found this in an ancient and arcane document about undersea horrors.
Of soul stealing and unspeakable cults and their mis-shapen acolytes.
I know not who the author was nor of his fate.
Although I have a dark uneasiness.
There was once a magickal caster,
Who learned his art faster and faster.
But what does it mean
That he’s not been seen
Since he uttered the name of Hast–urk!!!
By Simon Barber. To the tune of “Onward, Christian Soldiers”:
Onwards, Cthulhu Cultists, just a few more years
Waiting till the Stars Are Right, when he Reappears
Rising from the ocean, striding to the shore
Claiming as his birthright, lands he ruled before
Onwards Cthulhu Cultists, like in times before
Best get on his good side, or he’ll eat us raw!
Great is Lord Cthulhu — this you ought to know
To get in his good books, while he sleeps below
Imprisoned in Ry’leh, far beneath the waves
Till we liberate him, from his living grave
Think of divine splendour, shaped not unlike Man
But with beard of tentacles — picture if you can!
Splendid wings of ebon hue, spread beneath the moon
Sleeping down the aeons, dreaming from his tomb
Once he ruled in majesty, in the days of yore
Earth was young and splendid, and His was the Law
Till the jealous Elder Gods, envying his skill
Bound him with their symbols — but we serve him still!
Soon comes the Millennium, face it without fear
If you love Cthulhu, then your future’s clear
Ignore Nostrodamus, skip the Rapture too
Cthulhu is recruiting — what he wants, is YOU!
I have spent some time trying to deny the horrors which lie beneath our world of apparent sanity.
Possibly because I am being subject to the horrors of a Federal Election Campaign.
However, it is good to know that there are horrors beyond John Howard and there will a Festive Season to mock. I found this several years ago along with a whole lot of other Cthulhu Carols. You, my demented reader, will be subject to them over the forthcoming weeks.
For those who know their HTML coding, I attempted to create a tag
The Shoggoth was not amused.
God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones
God rest ye scary great old ones;
Let everything dismay.
Remember Great Cthulhu shall rise up from R’lyeh
To kill us all with tentacles
If we should go his way.
O tidings of madness and woe, madness and woe
O tidings of madness and woe!
In Yuggoth and in Aldebaran
The Great Old Ones were spawned
Imprisoned by the Elder Gods to wait for eons,
Enticing humans to release them,
An Arab said: “That is not dead
Which can eternal lie,
And with Strange Eons even death may die.”
The Great Old Ones will rule once more
And all will be destroyed.
Many of you may have wondered at my grasp on reality.
I know I have been posting a lot on the fiction which is Cthulhu. We all know it is a fiction!
Huge alien, other-dimensional beings of vaguely anthromorphic shape lying dead but dreaming in the oceanic abyss, muttering “Fhtagn”. Really! Who would ever believe this drivel!
No-one with any sanity could possible hold that these are a part of the real world.
Here is proof of what happens when
a blog-gigolo an ordinary person comes into contact with a strangely cephalopodic being!
Click on the image for a larger view.
Other Cthulhu related posts on this blog may be found here