Living in Heaven

One day in heaven, Jesus’s secretary says,”Sir, I think you have been working far too hard lately. You need to get out and meet the people.”

Jesus agrees, closes his books and goes for a walk down the streets of gold.

Presently, from a side street, he hears the curious rhythmic sound of sawing, and spies an old bearded carpenter in his workshop.

“Sir,” Jesus says benignly, “Why do you labour so? This is heaven, and your days of hard labour are behind you.”

The old man, his face dripping with sweat, replies, “I had a son on earth whose birth was a miracle. I haven’t seen him since he died. He knew I loved working with wood, and I thought if I made enough noise, he might hear it and find me.”

A look of stunned realisation comes upon Jesus’s face. The carpenter sees it and
stops sawing. As he gazes at Jesus, his eyes begin to mist up, and their eyes lock.

Jesus gently touches the old man’s shoulder and says simply, “Father.”

The old man says, “Pinocchio?”

Your God Delusion

I found this quiz in the Casa Az.

A source of much unexpected knowledge and wisdom.

While I scored 0, I was much impressed by the perception of the person who posted this to You Tube.

He wrote in his description of the video, “A STUPID video that I found — a quiz that supposedly measures how deluded by religion you are. I’m glad this hateful moron won’t be spending the next trillion years in heaven with Jesus and me! “

I am so undeluded that I am going back to writing the true history of dragons – – –

So Which Game DO they Play in Heaven?

A couple of mates, Bluey and Curley, were huge Cricket fans. Their entire lives, Bluey and Curley talked, watched, lived and breathed Cricket. They went to every test match, every one day game, even to the local club games on Saturdays. They even agreed that who ever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was Cricket in Heaven.

One night, Bluey passed away in his sleep after watching the Aussies beat Sri Lanka earlier in the day. He died happy. A few nights later, his mate, Curley, awoke to the sound of Bluey’s voice from beyond.

“Bluey is that you?” Curley asked.

“Yes, it’s me,” Bluey replied.

“This is unbelievable” Curley exclaimed. “So tell me, is there Cricket in Heaven?”

“Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?” asked Bluey.

“Tell me the good news first,” replied Curley.

“Well, the good news is that, yes, there is Cricket in Heaven,” said Bluey.

“Oh, that is wonderful, So what is the bad news?” asked Curley.

Bluey answered, “You’re opening the batting on Saturday.”