Statement of Belief
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Screams from the Stalls
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Tag Archives: Cthulhu
We avoided G-hova’s Rapture last weekend.
Pastor Camping got the day right but the planet wrong.
There are now a lot of terrified Little Green Things swimming in the oceans of Europa, out Jupiter way. Not as many as before, but still quite a few.
The problem they had, which G-hova had overlooked was that the Bibles He passed on to the early Little Green Things kept dissolving in the water. It is very hard to have a library which is constantly underwater!
So when the righteous Little Green Things (Dammit – “LGT’s”) were all Raptured the remainder were not only confused but became convinced that the way to be safe was to be BAD. The living conditions have suddenly become absolutely atrocious. Think of a combination of Iran, Burma, Zimbabwe and Alabama.
They only have to endure these conditions for several months as November 21st will be here quite soon. The difficulty for the LTG’s is that there will be approximately 450 generations between now and then.
Meanwhile, here on Earth, there is another Second Coming which is growing ever closer. It will NOT be a Rapturous Time!
At last, the conjunction of the dark and the darker stars.
Cthulhu deals with that Bieber kid.
To the relief of eardrums everywhere.
The disguise is finally coming off.
Chicthulhu has now been outed!
Described by raincoaster as Chihuahuas horrible, virtually untrainable, dumb knicknacks with teeth and bad tempers we can finally see them as they really are.
From sleeping in R’lyeh they are now taking over the purses of New York and stealing souls whenever they manage to find one. Although Chicthulhu is getting hungrier. Souls are normally checked at the door in New York.
Be afraid. Be very very afraid!
I tested this new “Writing Analyzer” which I found because I read the unmatchable Raincoaster’s most recent post on the “Shebeen Club” by giving it a sample from my recent “Aliens and Australians” blog post. I was deemed to write like :
I thought to myself, I did, Wow! That’s cool.
So I decided to do a control check and I tested a few paragraphs from my even more recent post on Religion.
And found that
So now I have this vision of Bertie Wooster with tentacles. Or of Cthulhu Himself with a Shoggoth named Jeeves.