Tag Archives: Britney Spears

Quantum Quiz #1

Since the quizzes I post seem to be quite popular and my readership exhibits distressing signs of intelligence, despite their efforts to hide it, I have decided to try something quite ambitious.

A quiz on Quantum Mechanics.

I have been give nine questions by my non-blogging friend, Cybe. He who reads books on string theory for the entertainment value. I look at Britney Spears photos for educational purposes.

To avoid unnecessary brain explosions (and to make things last a little linger, I am going to ask three questions at a time. On Saturdays.

Answers will appear on Tuesdays (I hope)

I’m actually posting all three sets of questions today but I’ll be trying out WordPress’s rather neat “planned publishing” gizmo.

Here are the first three questions.

1. In quantum physics who was uncertain and about what was he uncertain?

2. Of what use is a cat? (will accept either of two answers)

3. There’s an identity crisis on the sub-atomic level. What can’t
decide upon what it actually is?

With thanks to the Cybe R. Wizard

I am having a quiet chuckle at the moment. My “Britney Spears: tag has meant that this post appears on all the Spears Splogs – just as well no one reads them or they would be most confused.

Beating the Paparazzi, Bigtime!

Perhaps a few of Hollywood’s paparazzi targets should take note of one of the Darwin Award nominees for last year.

Increased mining and recent rains in southeast India have unsettled the wildife. In the past few months, migrating elephants have killed eleven people in southeast India. A team of four journalists decided to interview this herd of rogue elephants.

And they went into the forest in search of the rogues — on foot.

Elephants are big, and elephants are fast. As the recent deaths illustrate, a person can’t out-run an elephant. But these intrepid journalists apparently assumed that a press pass grants immunity.

With a nose for news, the journalists sniffed out the herd. Once located, it was only natural that they should capture the photogenic animals on film. Unfortunately, the elephants were camera shy. Angered by the flash, the irritated herd charged the paparazzi, miraculously killing only one of the four.

Hey, Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Justin, even you, the oh-so-capable Hoff (if you are hassled), forget human bodyguards.

Get yourself an angry elephant!

Although, in hindsight, there may be drawbacks –

Rare Timberlake Disease Fatal?

Justin Timberlake, for those who don’t know, is an American pop and R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer, and actor. He came to fame as the lead singer of pop boy band ‘N Sync and has won four Grammy Awards as well as an Emmy Award. In 2002, he released his debut solo album, Justified, which sold over seven million copies worldwide. Timberlake’s second solo release, FutureSex/LoveSounds, was released in 2006 with the U.S. number-one hit singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around… Comes Around”. With his first two albums, Timberlake has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. For a decade his partner was the now troubled Britney Spears.(With grateful thanks to Wikipedia)

With all that success, there are rumours that his life may tragically be shortened by an unusual disease!

Back in 2005, Timberlake discovered that he was suffering from a throat condition. What his medical team referred to as “nodules” were subsequently removed from his throat.

But what if they were not the normal “nodules” we expect to find on the larynx?

What if they were cellulosiverous Isoptera?

Doctors have revealed that there is no need for general panic as the disease appears to be genetically confined to the Timberlake family and is, in general, unlikely to affect the majority of the population. Although there is a possibility that the no longer stick-like Spears could also be harbouring the infection.

Isoptera would totally infest the Timberlake body and all his internal cellulose could be being consumed by these small, white, parasitic little critters.

By termites!

Blonde Chick with a Nice Pussy

 After the huge non-success of A Pair of Naked Boobies back in January, I have no excuse for this effort.

The Devil must have made me do it!

That or a desire to garner even more hits from the seamier side of the Blogipelago.


It comes from the days back when we thought a 175×158 image was quite large! It certainly took up close on half the monitor screen!

Old Joke, Oldest Joke

We have all laughed at the jokes about those poor people who suffer from delusions of being someone else.

Or a chicken.

“My brother thinks he’s a hen.”
“Why not take him to a doctor?”
“I would but we need the eggs!”

How about those unfortunates who believe they are someone famous.

Not the Brittney Spears or Paris Hiltons of this world, but the people who truly believe they are an historical figure from the past.

Which raises the question; “Who did crazy people in humorous stories think they were before they started thinking they were Napoleon?”

It has come to my attention that one of the earliest known Sumerian cuneiform inscriptions says:

“My uncle thinks he’s Hammurabi”.
“You should take him to see a priest.”
“I would, but we need the laws.”

Did You Know That . . .?

 Here are twenty little known facts which will help you win that next Trivial Pursuit night with your friends and relatives.

Women are twelve times more radioactive than men.

The Italian sculptor Michelangelo ran out of Burnt Ochre when he was painting the Cistene Chapel and resorted to using his own excrement as a substitute. He invented laxatives, the helicopter, and founded Lampeter University in 1822.

Originally Coca Cola was made out of coal dust and sugar.

Cilla Black was the original drummer with The Beatles. She left the band two weeks before they signed their first record deal.

The line of skin on the underside of a man’s scrotum is a species of small parasitic worm, Eunice viridis. These worms can also be found hunting for small prey among the coral reefs of the South Pacific.

People with large heads are ten times more likely to be mugged than people with slightly smaller heads.

Escapologist Harry Houdini (nee Eric Weiss) died in 1926 after challenging the then twelve-year-old fledgling body-builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger to thump him in the stomach.

Goldfish have excellent memories. This was proved in July 1992 when under controlled conditions a veiltail carp successfully recited Pi to 34,567 decimal places, beating an African elephant and an Atlantic sturgeon into second and third places respectively.

All builders are cannibals. They add excessive quantities of sugar to their beverages to reduce their craving for human flesh.

In his book Isthmus of the Gods, Erik Von Daniken convinced the world that the Panama Canal had been built by a superior alien race 10,000 years before the birth of Christ. His theory was exploded in 1976 when he confessed to having excavated the 51-mile waterway single-handedly during the summer of 1962. This revelation sparked the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1977, which disrupted celebrations for the Queen’s Silver Jubilee of the following year.

A pineapple is related to an armadillo. While armadillos are widespread in southern USA and South America, the pineapple has been less fortunate. It thrived on the island of Mauritius until the mid-17th century, when the large flightless fruit was quickly hunted to extinction by Dutch settlers. Armadillos are still eaten today as a tasty garnish to accompany gammon steaks.

More people are killed in accidents involving leaf beetles than any other species of insect.

At age eight, Britney Spears was the youngest person to be admitted to MENSA. In her early teens, while still at school, she won the Nobel Prize for Physics for her ground-breaking extension of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. The following year, after winning the accolade for an unprecedented second time, with characteristic modesty is reported to have remarked, ‘Oops, I’ve done it again!’

Hampton Court palace was built by Cardinal Wolsey and given in the 1520s to Henry VIII, who made innovative alterations, including the Great Hall, the East Wing and the condom machine. The latter marked the beginning of the end of papal authority in England until the Act of Supremacy in 1534 established the king as supreme head of the English Church.

The Douglas fir gets its name from Douglas Bader, the World War II flying ace, who chose wood from this tree as his favoured prosthetic material of choice.

A Soviet attempt to sabotage the Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 was thwarted just fifteen minutes before take off, when Buzz Aldrin discovered that all food onboard had been replaced by toothpaste.

The fieldmouse Apodemus sylvaticus is only 9cm long, but relative to its size is 60 times stronger than a male silver-backed gorilla. It can jump vertically over 400 metres. If it were the size of a small horse it could jump into the earth’s troposphere, causing havoc to international airline traffic.

When Frenchman Christopher Wren was appointed architect to St Paul’s Cathedral in 1668 he proposed an antirationalist design, with a decaying donkey hanging above the altar as its ironic centrepiece. However, the conservative taste of the British clergy prevailed and he was eventually obliged to combine classicism and baroque style in a more conventional cruciform plan to create the two-tiered portico, great dome and flanking towers that we know today. However, the organ case carved out of Camembert by Grinling Gibbons is a fitting tribute
to Wren’s visionary genius.

A Nude, Transexual, Pornographic LOLCthulhu

Despite the title, this post IS work and family friendly.

Reading the collected wisdom of Bill Blunt today has caused me to undertake a project upon which I have been cogitating for some time.

A form of self-publicity which my natural reticence has kept me from since I initiated this blog just on 12 months ago.

I will begin a (roughly) weekly summary of the most visited posts on my blog. This will be a chance for me to reflect on where my blog needs to aim in order to garner the highest possible number of readers. In the interests of grabbing a wider audience for my occasional serious, but poorly written, posts I need to study what my readership wishes to read. Nothing at all to do with my blog-gigolo ego!

For the first time for a long time, my top post for the week was not “Nude Gymnastics and Swimming” (Mar 2007). This is the post with the most visits ever on my blog. It still rates highest on most days. Around 15-20% of all visitors although this week it has dropped to around 10%.

Slipping down the list is “Britney Spears Bare Bits” (Dec, 2006) which, while still the second most visited post ever, has finally dropped off the top of the list and is now only drawing around 5% of visitors. The “Britney Rehab Doll” (Mar 2007) which gained the highest-ever daily total of all my offerings has almost dropped off the bottom of the list, now gaining less than 0.1% of visitors.

This week, one of the surprises has been my “LOLiphant“(May 2007) because of its mention in Miss Celania’s blog on elephants. That picked up an unexpected 15% on one day during the week.

Always in the top six, with around 8% of the readership is my report on the Thai Transsexual Beauty Quest (May 2007). There is no sign of this one losing its popularity.

Disappointingly, my serious posts on the lies and terrorism of our Australian Prime Minister have fallen rather flat. “John Howard, the Terrorist Prime Minister” (July 2007) gained around 7% on one day but then failed to rate again. I fear much of the readership of this post was from our laughable security group, ASIO. If this blog disappears some time soon, you may accept that it was, indeed, the guardians from free speech.

But the winners this week were a combination of “Quiz of the Day” (from November 2006) and “Cthulhu! Rising?” (July 2007). The quiz (about the Lovecraftian “Cthulhu Mythos”) topped the daily list on four occasions drawing up to 20% of the daily visitors, while Cthulhu Rising gained over 50% yesterday.

Putting this all together, I have come up with the following which, on the basis of my readership’s preferences, should gain at least 50% of the Blogoswamp’s attention.

The “Transsexual” and “Pornographic” interpretations are yours to make at will. He IS, however, quite nude!


Other Cthulhu related posts on this blog may be found here, here, here, here, here, here,
here and here.