The Night Watchman


It is a little known fact that the Australian Government has a large scrap yard where they keep all the now obsolete copper wire from Telstra now that the NBN is such a thing.

Malcolm Turnbull said to his Cabinet, “Someone may steal our copper wire at night.”

So Michaelia Cash created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Mattias Corman asked, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So they got Simon Birmingham to create a planning department and he hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Malcolm Turnbull asked, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the job correctly?” So Cabinet asked Arthur Sinodinos to create a Quality Control department and he hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Kelly O’Dwyer asked, “How are these people going to get paid?” So Christian Porter created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Malcolm Turnbull asked, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

The entire Cabinet scratched their heads and looked around. They realised Barnaby Joyce had not done anything with this whole affair so they delegated the task of creating an administrative section to him.

Barnaby moved the entire scrap yard to Gunnedah and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Scott Morrison said, “We have had this night watchman office in operation for one year and we are already $18 million over budget, we must cutback overall cost.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

 

Image

Loch Ness Monster


Crop Circle


A crop circle in the spinifex

Beer-Drinking Bunny


A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.’

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,
‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.’

The crowd’s bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll love it.’

‘Ok,’ says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves….

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, ‘Who are you?

To which he is answered,
‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’

The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’

The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’

The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’

The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’

The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’

‘I DIED’, said the rabbit.

‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’

After a short pause, the rabbit said …

‘Mixin-me-toasties’

 

(Thanks, Michael)

New Holland Honey Eater


Taken on the banks of the

Swan River.

A few Budgies


Just a few budgerigars  in the Great Sandy Desert

And just a few more.

Sunset over Lake Dora


In Martu Lands, Great Sandy Desert