About Women

Don’t fall in love with a woman who reads, a woman who feels too much, a woman who writes…

Don’t fall in love with an educated, magical, delusional, crazy woman.

Don’t fall in love with a woman who thinks, who knows what she knows and also knows how to fly; a woman sure of herself.

Don’t fall in love with a woman who laughs or cries making love, knows how to turn her spirit into flesh; let alone one that loves poetry (these are the most dangerous), or spends half an hour contemplating a painting and isn’t able to live without music.

Don’t fall in love with a woman who is interested in politics and is rebellious and feel a huge horror from injustice. One who does not like to watch television at all. Or a woman who is beautiful no matter the features of her face or her body.

Don’t fall in love with a woman who is intense, entertaining, lucid and irreverent.

Don’t wish to fall in love with a woman like that. Because when you fall in love with a woman like that, whether she stays with you or not, whether she loves you or not, from a woman like that, you never come back.

-Martha Rivera-Garrido

The battle of the sexes needs to be renewed. Vive la différence.

Women need not always keep their mouths shut and their wombs open. ~ Emma Goldman, 1916

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. ~ Joseph Conrad

There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.  ~ Christian Louboutin

Archaeologists have been digging up thousands of graves of people called Scythians by the Greeks. They turn out to be people whose women fought, hunted, rode horses, used bows and arrows, just like the men. ~ Adrienne Mayor

Women need to learn to value themselves. But that has to be inculcated in men as much as women. ~ Vidya Balan

I think God made a woman to be strong and not to be trampled under the feet of men. I’ve always felt this way because my mother was a very strong woman, without a husband. ~ Little Richard

There was a time when men thought it was sexy to have a housewife waiting for him to come home from work in her slippers, but in modern society, I think an independent woman is even more sexy.  ~ Kat Graham

We women are going to bring change. We are speaking up for girls’ rights, but we must not behave like men, like they have done in the past. ~ Malala Yousafzai

I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves. ~ Mary Shelley

I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants.  ~ Whitney Houston

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.  ~ Oscar Wilde

We all fight over what the label ‘feminism’ means but for me it’s about empowerment. It’s not about being more powerful than men – it’s about having equal rights with protection, support, justice. It’s about very basic things. It’s not a badge like a fashion item.  ~ Annie Lennox

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men; they are far superior and always have been. William Golding

Women must tell men always that they are the strong ones. They are the big, the strong, the wonderful. In truth, women are the strong ones. It is just my opinion, I am not a professor. Coco Chanel

If it is right for men to fight for their freedom, and God knows what the human race would be like today if men had not, since time began, fought for their freedom, then it is right for women to fight for their freedom and the freedom of the children they bear. Emmeline Pankhurst

You know, there’s nothing damnable about being a strong woman. The world needs strong women. There are a lot of strong women you do not see who are guiding, helping, mothering strong men. They want to remain unseen. It’s kind of nice to be able to play a strong woman who is seen. ~ Ginger Rogers

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
William Congreve (1670 – 1729), The Mourning Bride, 1697, act III scene 8

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
Virginia Woolf (1882 – 1941)

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Timothy Leary (1920 – 1996)

When the candles are out all women are fair.
Plutarch (46 AD – 120 AD), Morals

I hate women because they always know where things are.
James Thurber (1894 – 1961)

Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you’re driving at another.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950), “Pygmalion” (1913)

What a pleasant life could be had in this world by a handsome, sensible old lady of good fortune, blessed with a sound constitution and a firm will”
― Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm

“Flora inherited, however, from her father a strong will and from her mother a slender ankle.”
― Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm

Men love women because they are the most beautiful creatures on God’s earth, women love men because chocolate can’t mow the lawn

“On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.” ― H.L. Mencken

Girls begin to talk and to stand on their feet sooner than boys because weeds always grow up more quickly than good crops. ~ Martin Luther

I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was “a tent of lovers.” I wasn’t really listening.

Ever notice how most women problems begin with men? Men-struation, Men-opause, Men-tal breakdowns.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

My wife said, “I was a fool when I married you.” I said, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.” That’s when the fight started

“People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn’t see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

Girls like semicolons because they get away with changing the subject half way through the sentence.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

I married beneath me. All women do. ~Lady Nancy Astor

A misanthrope I can understand – a womanthrope, never! ~~ Oscar Wilde

“Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.” ~ St. John Chrysostom (345-407 CE)

Do multiorgasmic women have plethoragasms?

Here’s to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. ~ Ambrose Bierce

“Men are superior to women.” ~ The Koran (c. 650)

Perception and the cloak put upon women as a result of perception, is a cloak just as easily discarded.

The woman that deliberates is lost ~ Cato

Woman should remain at home, sit still, keep house, and bear and bring up children. ~ Martin Luther (1483-1546)

In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman. ~ ~Lady Nancy Astor

Women have a way of saying things where you understand each of the
words individually, but when you put them all together they don’t make
any goddam sense to anyone, except to other women.  ~ Usenet)

In the year 584 CE, in Lyons, France, forty-three Catholic bishops and twenty men representing other bishops, held a most peculiar debate: “Are Women Human?” After many lengthy arguments, a vote was taken. The results were: thirty-two, yes; thirty-one, no. Women were declared human by one vote! ~ Council of Macon

A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave.” ~ Aristotle (384-322 BCE)

BAUD RATE: Fee charged by loose women; usually $500 and up.

Don’t be a sexist, broads hate that.

I’m not really sexist, I just like to poke fun at lesser mortals.

Minnow goddess. Speaker to squirrels. Often taunted by trout. Almost entirely harmless.

The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities – a natural defectiveness. ~ Aristotle (384-322 BCE)

With women the heart argues, not the mind ~ Matthew Arnold

Woman who goes to man’s apartment for snack, gets titbit.~ Confucius

Women have got to make the world safe for men since men have made it so darned unsafe for women.
~Lady Nancy Astor

Women should be obscene and not hurt.  ~ Cybe R Wizard

Women love the lie which saves their pride, but never an unflattering truth. ~ Gertrude Atherton

A woman was in love with fourteen soldiers; it was platoonic.

Blessed art thou, O Lord our God and King of the Universe, that thou didst not create me a woman. ~
Daily prayer, still in use, of the orthodox Jewish male

He who teaches a woman letters feeds more poison to a frightful asp. ~ Menander

Is eating cheese in bed with two women considered a fromage a’ trois?

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle. ~ Confucius (551-479 BCE)

The souls of women are so small that some believe they’ve none at all. ~ Samuel Butler (1612-1680)

“Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man, not rule and command him.” ~ John Knox (1505-1572)

WOMEN sit, or move to and fro—some old, some young;
The young are beautiful—but the old are more beautiful than the young. ~ Walt Whitman

And a little about MEN!

Don’t accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
Robin Morgan

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.
Scott Adams (1957 – )

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
Jilly Cooper

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!  ~ Coco Chanel

The more I know about men the more I like dogs.  ~ Gloria Allred

Men know they are sexual exiles. They wander the earth seeking satisfaction, craving and despising, never content. There is nothing in that anguished motion for women to envy.  ~ Camille Paglia

I felt a tremendous sadness for men who can’t deal with a woman of their own age. ~  Michael Caine

Women are always complaining about men’s fascination with breasts. But what if men were absolutely indifferent to breasts? What would women do then with these things that serve one function once or twice in a lifetime, and the rest of the time are just in the way?   ~  Jonathan Carroll

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed. ~ Oscar Wilde

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.  ~ O. Henry

Men’s vows are women’s traitors!  ~ William Shakespeare

Men aren’t necessities. They’re luxuries.  ~ Cher

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.  ~ Johnny Carson

Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly supporting their own superiority. ~ Mary Wollstonecraft

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  ~ Katharine Hepburn

No gentleman ever discusses any relationship with a lady.  ~ Keith Miller

The common erotic project of destroying women makes it possible for men to unite into a brotherhood; this project is the only firm and trustworthy groundwork for cooperation among males and all male bonding is based on it.  ~ Andrea Dworkin

Men want a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That is what is written in their hearts. That is what little boys play at. That is what men’s movies are about. You just see it. It is undeniable. ~ John Eldredge

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired. ~ Mae West

Even the handsomest men do not have the same momentary effect on the world as a truly beautiful woman does. ~ Jonathan Carroll

All men are equal before fish. ~ Herbert Hoover

Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety. ~ Plato

Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. ~ Joss Whedon

The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold. ~ Khalil Gibran

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. B. F. Skinner

Men have become the tools of their tools. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true. ~ Julius Caesar

Most men today cannot conceive of a freedom that does not involve somebody’s slavery. ~ W. E. B. Du Bois

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. ~ Lana Turner

Men are what their mothers made them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. ~ Marcus Aurelius

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men. ~ Nikola Tesla

There are three classes of men; lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, and lovers of gain.

Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less. ~ Susan B. Anthony

Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts? ~ Confucius

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. ~ Henry David Thoreau

No struggle can ever succeed without women participating side by side with men.  ~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah