Monday Smirko (Pro Tem)

Having run out of distractions Scummo Morrison, our Prime Minister (Pro Tem), has retreated to his cubby house.

He has been heard muttering something about, ‘…know I had something to do but I cannot remember what it was.’ It is believed the PMO is conducting an investigation and will have an answer by the end of June.

The puzzled Smirk has been racking his brains trying to remember which of his distractions Australia needs to be distracted from.

He knows he has no announcements to make for a day or two. Just yesterday he was able to claim credit for deporting a second tennis player so keeping Australia safe from the ALP. Although that message was a little mixed because of the inconvenient volcanic eruption in Tonga. Blaming Albo for that as well felt a little contrived.

A phone call, intercepted by the Chinese Embassy, suggests that Smirko’s chefs are currently preparing a curried Barramundi for the next photoshoot.

Meanwhile, the Minister for controlling all the big boy toys, Peaty Tuberosum has been spotted with an anticipatory glint in his eye and is reportedly filing his teeth – – –

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