Having seen the profitability of Government funded education at the Pre-school level, as seen in the entrepreneurship of the Dutton family, the Coalition Party Room has decided to move into Tertiary Education. A proposed syllabus has been leaked and there are fascinating courses on offer to fleece the mugs.
Sorry, that was the initial wording. That has now been changed to ‘User Pays Accounting System’.
I was considering taking a Bachelor’s degree in Empathetic Egogastronomy – but realised our PM is the chief lecturer.
I am now considering Peter Dutton’s course in Biomimicry.
Some of the other courses which are bound to generate interest among prospective students are listed below.
Marise Payne has instituted a degree in Strategic Storytelling which includes a major in Structured Lies and Inflammatory Comments.
A Masters degree in Surviving the Coming Zombie Apocalypse and Brainectomies is being jointly presented by Stuart Robert and Malcolm Roberts.
A Certificate in Stand-up Comedy is being taught by Michael McCormack
Barnaby Joyce is looking for students to take his Diploma in Fermentation and Fornication Sciences.
Contemporary Circus and Physical Performance is the Bachelor’s Degree being presented by George Christensen.
Abstract Logic will be presented as a Degree Course by Bob Katter.
A Certificate in Zombie Studies will be available through a course led by Kevin Andrews.
There will be a full Masters Degree course in ‘Accidental Real Estate Purchases’ led by Sussan Ley.
A Bill will be introduced to Parliament next year which will redefine any income gained by lecturers from the University of Ausparlihouse as reimbursements. This will of course only apply to members of the Coalition Party Room.