Running Australian Politics

Scene 1; The Liberal Childcare Centre P/L trading as the IPA

Phone rings;

‘Good morning, Chief Child Wrangler speaking. Oh, it is you, Malcolm. Back from meeting that orange shitgibbon already?
……..Yes I have seen the Essential Poll this morning. You’re worried? What about, losing the next election?
……..Oh, about your own position. We shall have to do something about that. Look, we’ll throw it around in the sand pit at lunchtime and see what we can come up with.
………Yes, you too Malcolm. Bye.

Scene 2; same Child Care Centre, later that same day.

The Chief Child Wrangler is waiting on the phone.

Oh God, the things we have to do for this self-centr – – – Oh Good afternoon Malcolm. How are things at your end?
……. Oh! Dutton hasn’t returned a phone call. And Tony has made one? This does sound desperate,
……. Well, we have developed a plan and, if I may say so, it is a beauty.
……. It is similar to the way we removed both Rudd and Gillard.
…… Well yes, and the same as we used to remove Tony.
……..We will start that replace Shorten with Albo rumour again
……. Nonono, I know that it can’t happen until after the next election but the marks don’t remember that.
…….. Nothing like a little leadership destabilisation to swing the electorate
…….. The Murdoch Press and Leigh Sales have been alerted. They will be interviewing Richo and Latham tonight. Always good to have one of them spouting the rumours.
…….. Oh no. They will be very believable. And tomorrow we can add Marn Ferguson into the mix.
…….. That should swing around 3.5% of the electorate your way.
…….. Yes, I’m so pleased you like that plan. OK, Talk with you aging soon. Bye.

Scene 3; Same Child Care Centre even later in the day.

Phone rings;

Good afternoon, Chief Child Wrangler speaking. Oh, hello Mr Dutton.
……………………………………………………… Ahh yes, I hear what you are saying.
No, I agree with you. Malcolm has won the only election he can win and if we are to stay in Government we need to change leaders.
……… You would be an excellent choice, Peter. And I have just the plan, already organised. We played it out in the sandpit at lunchtime.  We were just waiting for your call.
……… Chris Uhlmann is the man for this. He has Tony, Senator George and Cory ready to endorse you and they will swing at least 3.5% of the electorate behind the Party.
……… Yes, yes, we were just waiting for your call. The plan can start immediately. Bye.

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