THE COMING LABOR DAILY,
As the Shadow of the coming Labor Daily
Simply falls across the ancient Penny Press
And she stops at once the song she’s singing gaily
Drops her gamp, and looks the picture of distress
Lifts her hands to Heaven in horror and distress.
As she gazes on the dreadful Thing in terror,
All her brazenness and hide dissolve in tears-
She exclaims, ‘Oh! Lord! I’ve made a fearful error
For I thought it wouldn’t come for many years— ‘
I felt sure my bluff was good for years and years.”
“Dash the thing! I wish that I had practised often.
Saying naughty wicked words and blasphemy,
For I do believe that cursing now would soften
And relieve this dreadful pain in my pinnee—-
I’ve an awful feeling under my pinnee.
“I suppose that, as I’ve claimed to love my neighbor
For so many years, the only, thing to do
Is to act the hypocrite, and smoodge to Labor,
Though I’m very, much afraid my chance looks blue—
Yes, I fear in spite of smoodging, mighty blue.
“Still, there doesn’t seem a bit of harm in trying
(All my tales have been believed in times gone by).
More especially as sitting still means dying,
And they say that dead things always mortify.
I’m not dead, though I’ve begun to mortify.
So I s’pose I’d better set the ball a-rolling,
By a ref’rence to the noble part I played,
Or my fun’ral bell will shortly be a-tolling,
I can see my ghastly shroud already made.
Yes I must set straight the bloomers I have made.
“(That’s not bad), and now, to butter up the workers,
I must point out (this requires a bit of stress),
That Australia’s pretty full of blessed shirkers-
Fellows who will not support the daily Press-
Chaps who’re always poking ‘borak’ at the Press.
‘I must tell them that I’m losing money, yearly
In my efforts to maintain their liberty,
And that they will find the project costs them dearly.
When they’ve followed up the game as long as me—
It has been a constant source of loss to me.
“I must not forget I’ve always said that Fisher .
Is a man of sound and democratic views
And I’ve always, been a backer and well-wisher
Of that clever little lawyer, Billy Hughes.
(Yes; I guess I pulled the leg of Billy Hughes).
“I am loyal, constitutional, and hearty,
But, if people want a Socialistic State,
I am willing to subscribe to any party,
I’m almost a Socialist myself of late—
Lord! I hope that my conversion ain’t too late.
“If there’s anything that I’ve, somehow, omitted,
Point it out without delay; the time is brief.
Moore no good? All right; he mustn’t be permitted
To remain; Tom Bath we’ll take now for our chief
Certainly; Tom Bath’s the man to hail as chief.
“Though my joints are stiff, I don’t mind even kneeling
Down to Tommy and his pals now any day;
If those fellows have a little bit of feeling,
When I kiss their feet, they’ll take the Thing away.
Oh! “Tm feeling sick. Please take the Thing away.”