The Flower King

onceupunatimeyellowWith a hat-tip to Dorothy Parker;

Far off in another galaxy was a planet inhabited only by walking, talking flowers. The king, a red carnation, had fallen in love with a common daisy. Unfortunately, she was far below his station, and in addition to having a rather spotty reputation, she possessed an equally spotty education. It was clear she would never fit in with royalty.

The king’s ministers suggested that the only way he could possibly marry this lovely young daisy was to educate her in the ways of higher society. He hired the very best teachers he could find. They drilled her in all the fine arts, taking her to the opera and to the ballet. They introduced her to the best literature, and to philosophy. Every thing they did however, seemed lost on the king’s intended bride. None of the teaching had any effect.

Their efforts continued on and on, but she never showed a glimmer of intelligence. At last, the king, in utter defeat, cried out, “It’s no use! I can lead a horticulture, but I can’t make her think!”

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