The Tasmanian Farmer

A Tasmanian farmer is working in his fruit and vegetable farm when suddenly a brand-new BMW squeals to a stop beside him.
The driver, a middle-aged man with big ears in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and blue tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, ‘If I tell you exactly how many apple trees and how many apricot trees you have in your orchard, will you give me a box of apricots?’

The farmer looks at the man, obviously a city type, then looks over at his orchard and calmly answers, ‘Sure, why not?’

The city guy whips out his Apple I-Phone, connects it to his Apple Notebook and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The welld-dressed bloke then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Notebook that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his I-Phone and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 15-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and turns to the cowboy and says, ‘You have exactly 1,586 apple trees and 987 apricot trees.’

‘That’s right. Well, I guess you can take a box of my apricots,’ says the farmer.

He watches the blow-in select one of the boxes and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW.  Then he says to the big-eared city type, ‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my box of produce?’

The visitor thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’

‘You with the Australian Government’, says the farmer.

‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the suited bloke, taking one of brownish fruit out of the box and biting into it. ‘I’m the Prime Minister. How did you guess that?’

‘No guessing required.’ answered the farmer. ‘You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, you tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don’t know a thing about orchards and market gardens .. the orchard is over there. This is a field of vegetables.  Now give me back my box of onions.”



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One response to “The Tasmanian Farmer

  1. I knew that there was a simple explanation for that onion.


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