As the budget emergency turned into budget farce and the Coalition was being trashed not only in the polls but also in the News Ltd media, tony abbott called Joe Hockey into his office and said “Joe, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out and win the country voters.”
“Good idea, Boss, how will we go about it”? asked Joe.
“Well”, said tony, “we get ourselves one of those Driaza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we’ll really look the part. We’ll go to a typical old outback country pub, we’ll show we really enjoy the bush.”
“Right” said Joe.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set
off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at
just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.
They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
“G’day mate”, said tony to the bartender, “a couple of your best shandies.”
“OK.” said the bartender with a bit of a smirk, “two middies of our best shandy coming up.”
abbott and Hockey stood leaning on the bar drinking their shandies, smoking their cigars and chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dog’s tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Hockey and abbott could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
“Tell me” asked Hockey, “why those old stockmen come in and look under the dog’s tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?”
“Strewth no”, said the barman. “Someone told ’em there was a cattle dog in the bar with a couple of arseholes.”