A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ‘What are all those clocks?’
St. Peter answered, ‘Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.’
‘Oh’, said the man. ‘Whose clock is that?’
‘That’s Gough Whitlam’s, replied St. Peter. ‘The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.’
‘Incredible’, said the man, ‘and whose clock is that one?’
St. Peter responded, ‘That’s Julia Gillard’s clock. The hands have moved once, telling us that Julia has told only one lie in her entire life so far.’
‘Where’s Tony Abbott’s clock?’ asked the man.
‘Tony’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.’