Some Limericks on Cardinal Pell

As an athiest I am offended by shamans who try to impose their predjudices upon all of society.

The shamans of Anglo-Celtic society have long been the butt of the Limerick Class. As a paid-up member of that Class, I had a special target. Back around the turn of the century I committed the following limericks. One does not “write” limericks. One “commits” them as they are a crime against literature.

Archbishop Pell is the leading Catholic conservative in Australia, having preached against contraception, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex and just about everything else. He refuses to give communion to admitted gays.

He also made the comment that the paedophiles in clerical robes will find it easier to reach heaven than the gays who want to be part of the church.

The Catholic Archbishop Pell –
Of dangers and sins he does tell –
Tho smoking is sad,
If Gay, you’re just bad,
But boy-loving priests avoid Hell!!

I was lucky enough to overhear a conversation between the then Archbishop and the Devil himself.

“The Devil,” said Archbishop Pell,
“Can rule over Gays down in Hell
His fires won’t be stokin’
With virgins a’smokin’
Or Paedophile priests who excel!!”

The Devil said, “Archbishop Pell
Will discover the joys of my Hell.
When he finally dies,
We’ll serve him with fries
And battered and deep-fried as well.”

“The Devil,” said Archbishop Pell,
“Rejects Priests and smokers as well;
But if you are gay
In Hell you must stay,
And I am the one who will tell!”

The Devil said “Archbishop Pell
Has a mind that is not very well.
It flounders in dirts,
Makes Gospels perverse
And fills up my furnace quite well!”

“The Devil,” said Archbishop Pell,
Invaded God’s Earth here as well
With Muslim perversions
And Turkish diversions
Most everyone’s going to Hell!”

The Devil said “Archbishop Pell
Is the only one certain of Hell
He’s lost all the joy,
Thinks redemptions a ploy;
All thinking he just wants to quell!”

Back in 2000, I moved to Sydney – and guess what!!!!

Archbishop George Pell of Melbourne
Has had all their sinners reborn
So they sent him to Sydney
Cos the Pope said, “Please rid me
Of gays, from the church they’ll be torn!

And tho I hate gays I revile
That hypocrite Reverend Nile
Although anti-porny
And never found horny
He has that damned Protestant style!

Non-gays who are living in sin
As well, we will throw in the bin.
They are outside the church,
They’ll be left in the lurch –
As they burn down below we can grin.”

As a self-proclaimed loyal son of Vatican II he claims he is not trying to take the church back to the middle-ages. He is leaving Victoria with 11 priestly trainees out of a population of 3 million – soon there wont be enough priests to go around!)

And Satan sits rubbing his hands,
And gathering sinners in bands
Cos stubborn old George
Will do nothing but forge
A decline until Rome’s church disbands.

And now there should be tax breaks for MARRIED couples who stay together, according to this enlightened cleric!

St Paul likened marriage to Hell
And is just to make the girls swell.
These days we should pay
To make the guy stay
According to Archbishop Pell!

Of course the problem of priestly paedophilia is not confined to Australia. Boston, USA, also has a bit of a problem. (The rhyming is ok if you remember that the last word is pronounced “pagan”).

The celibate old Father Geoghagan
Was never turned on by Miss Meoghagan
But the sight of young boys
Which were HIS little toys
Could often turn him to a peoghagan.

28th Sept, 2003 was the day the Pope, in all his wisdom and glory, chose to elevate Archbishop Pell to the Cardinalate. Now It is Georgie Porgie in a little red bonnet.

I don’t want to sound trite and snippy
But John Paul has gone strange and dippy
He’s named old George Pell
A new Cardinal*
In line to be made the Pope Skippy.

*Ærchie School of Rhyme

7 responses to “Some Limericks on Cardinal Pell

  1. There once was a girl from Nantucket…

    Actually, I’ll leave the limericks to you :-S

    I’m sensing an underlying message here, like there’s a strong feeling against Mr Pell?



  2. And then there’s George Pell, the John Howard/Tony Abbott-supporting, climate-change denier. By putting this shallow-thinking. “unChristian” person in such a powerful position, the church demonstrates everything that is wrong at its heart.


  3. Quite the tour de force, Archie. My favorite one is the one that ends “Most everyone’s going to hell.” In a handbasket…


  4. Pingback: Tony Abbott’s Easter Address From The Opposition’s Ship Of State. | polliepomes

  5. There lives a Bishop named Pell
    Who covered his tracks very well
    But he’s now been caught out
    And there isn’t much doubt
    He will probably end up in hell.

    The names Abbott and Bishop do bring
    To the Libs a religious ring
    So along with George Pell
    They may all end in Hell
    When Our Maker is doing his thing.

    There’s Abbott, Bishop and Pell
    A trio destined for Hell
    And down there they will dine
    With Hockey and Pyne
    That’s if Satan can stand the foul smell.

    With two Bishops and Cardinal Pell
    And being a Catholic as well
    Tony Abbott the liar
    Acts like the Messiah
    But he can’t cover up Satan’s Smell

    Liked by 1 person

  6. clifford Wright

    Says Aussie old Cardinal Pell.
    Those women will send you to hell.
    Young Catholic choirboys suffice for my joys.
    And it cuts down the numbers as well!

    Liked by 1 person

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