Tony Abbott Couldn’t Be This Stupid, Could He?


It seems that I may have made a wrong guess about the lady in question. It seems, in this world of “What If” someone called Peta was involved. In deference to history, let us call her Peta Gotto in this wonderful world of “What-If”. 

Or perhaps the “What If” male is not at all monogamous, even in his affairs.

Although I would not try to two time Peta Gotto. She has major Credlinability!

I just wonder how Brian is feeling about all the rumours. After being held up by the braodsheets, is the top of the Liberal Party about to fall apart under an attack of bed-sheets? Anything can happen in “What-if” world.

Bob Ellis has also written on this matter.



Following this fantasy to its logical conclusion, there would be a move from the females in Tony Abbott’s family to have him move the offending “Staffer-chick” (who is only a fantasy) out of his office, and replace her with, preferably, a harmless male.

That is all only in fantasy world and has absolutely nothing to do with this coincidental story from The Australian.

James Boyce to replace Claire Kimball as Tony Abbott’s press secretary, which was written by respected journalist James Massola and published January 25, 2011 2:52PM




I began to play a game, as many of my readers would have done. IF this story has some basis in fact, and I’m not saying it has. I’m playing “What If“.

If there is any truth in the rumour there may be some clues in the Mainstream Media.

I vaguely remembered something about Tony Abbott getting lost in the bush last year and there was something strange about telephone numbers.

So I checked Google and found my memory was not that bad. He had indeed gotten himself lost (something I have done in the outback as well but that is another story) and had to do an E.T. and “Phone Home”. Problem was, as this news report says, he could only remember one phone number.

I know highly placed politicians lead sheltered lives but surely he could remember his WIFE’S phone number at a time of great stress. No! Just his Press Secretary’s phone number.

That bit is reported fact. The original basis of this story is just unsubstantiated rumour.

But it is fun to play “What If”.


Rumours about Tony Abbott and “a female staffer” are beginning to appear on Twitter.

Not that they could be true.

Tony Abbott is the Leader of the Parliamentary Liberal Party and as such is the official Parliamentary Leader of the Opposition. He is married, with three grown daughters. And a solid, committed Catholic in good standing.

So, I believe, there is no way he would have done something this stupid.

I know I am on the opposite side of the political fence and I disagree with much of what Tony Abbott does and says, yet I find it very hard to believe this scuttlebutt!

Still, anonymous rumour (as all rumours are) has it that there are apparently those in the corridors of Parliament House in Canberra who are talking of such a liason.

I wonder if any of the Parliamentary Press Gallery can throw some light on this matter.

It Has Happened In The Past

If such an unlikely event should have happened it would not be the first time a high-profile Australian politician has strayed from his marriage vows.

Malcolm Fraser

On 14 October 1986, past Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser, then the Chairman of the Commonwealth Eminent Persons Group, was found in the foyer of the Admiral Benbow Inn, a seedy Memphis hotel, wearing nothing but a towel and confused as to where his trousers were. The hotel was an establishment popular with prostitutes and drug dealers. Though it was rumoured at the time that the former Prime Minister had been with a prostitute, his wife believes it more likely that he was the victim of a practical joke by his fellow delegates.

From Wikipedia

Billy Snedden

The first Leader of the Australian Liberal Party not to become Prime Minister, Snedden, on 27 June 1987, just hours after attending John Howard’s election campaign launch, Snedden suffered a fatal heart attack at the Travelodge at Rushcutters Bay, Sydney, while having sex with his son’s (Drew Snedden) ex-girlfriend. Melbourne newspaper The Truth headlined its report “Snedden died on the job”, while the Sydney Morning Herald reported that Snedden was wearing a condom and that “it was loaded”. From Wikipedia

John Gorton

The 19th Prime Minister of Australia, from 1968 till 1971, Gorton was subjected to media speculation about his drinking habits and his involvements with women.

He generated great resentment within his party, and his opponents became increasingly critical of his reliance on an inner circle of advisers – most notably his private secretary Ainsley Gotto.

From Wikipedia

19 responses to “Tony Abbott Couldn’t Be This Stupid, Could He?

  1. Of course he could be that stupid. It has been my observation that people in positions of power frequently do really really idiotic things. And for some reason, power is an aphrodisiac par excellence for the members of the opposite sex that are around; it is far too easy to be seduced by a young and comely person of the opposite sex who is adoring and uncritical.

    I believe that the Borgia Popes were solid committed Catholics and they had children…


  2. Maybe Tony is inspired by Newt Gingrich who has lately scored a sympathy vote after putting a positive spin on his “open marriage”.


  3. Of course he could be that stupid. In fact, he is.


  4. ah yes, the power of the pussy. Seriously though, what woman in her right mind could tolerate that drone grunting & heaving above her?


  5. It is said that Newt Gingrich has been forgiven..

    He he is a born again Christian, he is on his third religion as well as spouse.

    It is said in the USA, when one is born again, all sins are wiped out.

    No wonder being reborn is popular.

    It is said the Newt has not cheated on his third wife, at least since he became a Catholic, his third religion.


  6. Yeah, I didn’t think Anthony Weiner was stupid enough to send pictures of his anatomy to unsuspecting college students, either. But he was. Sadly. One of the last liberals in Congress.
    And to be fair, a few in power have been caught diddling interns of the same sex. It’s an equal opportunity sport, except that women in power seem to engage in it a bit less. Or are smarter at hiding it.


  7. It’s not the press secretary. Look closer to the source of power.


  8. i think Tony’s getting it on with Julia


  9. Nah, Julia has repulsed him after his rude response for her concerns for his safety.


  10. But Tony Abbott Has His Body Armor!

    Hostile Encounter

    Fearing some femme fatale might charm him
    And media scandal somehow harm him,
    Tony Abbott took great care to show,
    Pre-emptively, the answer would be “No!”

    Unnamed sources in the Coalition,
    Already feared he risked his soul’s perdition.
    He’d not been home for a month or so.
    Why that was, no one really seemed to know.

    Canberra was rife with rumor!
    The L.O.T.O. was in a dark, black humor.
    Had his spouse told him he had to go?
    Was she sick of hearing him say, “No!”

    Perhaps, so badly wanting a new election,
    Carefully avoiding any chance of an erection,
    He’d forgotten his home was not ‘the House’ and so
    Even there his automatic response was, “No!”

    He couldn’t be having an affaire!
    Cameras followed him everywhere.
    Every inch of film would surely show
    Female advances were always met with, “No!”

    But did he have the time or need for sex?
    He could get his kicks with a muscle flex.
    So opportunities for the Manly member to show
    Inevitably were responded to with, “No!”

    Why he needed that suit was anybody’s guess.
    Maybe, so rarely in this life has he said, “ Yes”
    He’ll wear it facing fires in hell where he is sure to go.
    ‘Cos when asked if he repents his sins he’s bound to answer, “NO!”


  11. Pingback: Tony Abbott Would Not Lie To God « Ærchies Archive – Digital Detritus

  12. Want to find out more about Abbott? Check out ShoutOut for a review of his policies towards women. And yes, you’re right, the rumour is scuttlebut!


  13. Tony of Poorakistan

    It appears that the rumours were actually started by someone in the Liberal party who does not like the woman concerned, how much power she appears to have and her lack of interest in actual policy vs winning the election. That and the fact that as her strategies appeared to work and her influence grew, she started to order around other people, including Ministers.


  14. There lived a Philosopher Remus
    A scholar of humanoid genus
    Which he’d studied through life
    Finding all the worlds strife
    Was related to man’s erect penis.


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