Shortcomings Of Spellcheck

I would like to apply fore a job as an editor of your paper. I halve a computer, and it has spellcheck, and it wood seam that this is awl I really knead.

I had originally intended too dew this last weak, but then I happened to reed my horoscope in The Times, and it said: “Put on the reigns before you lose control of everything. Of coarse, once I red this, I gnu it wood be better to weight four a more auspicious thyme.

Aye thought at first that maybe I should caul, but then I decided it mite be better to right. I truly believe that I would be a grate editor–know matter watt–rein or shine. Eye wood make accuracy inn spelling the mane ingredient of my editorial rain. Just to prove my hart is in the rite place, I maid sure this letter was perfect–I ran it threw Spellcheck.

I really due wont this job, and I no I could bee a reel asset, butt if yew don’t higher mi, I won’t whale.


12 responses to “Shortcomings Of Spellcheck

  1. I wood half to say your hyerd.


  2. Eye half another won combing later.


  3. I hate this … as a perfectionist in spelling the English language I loathe the modern trend to descend to “phonetic spelling” and unfortunately the PC is a major culprit in this travesty of writing correctly. I am a frustrated Spelling Mistress and my old teacher would be turning in her grave at the thought of the children of today not being taught basic spelling. We used to have Friday afternoons set aside for spelling and mental arithmetic … the whole school would gather in the Assembly Hall and, in class order, would have 100 words given to them child by child. They would then have to repeat the pronunciation, spell the word, and if said child got the spelling incorrect the child would have to write that word out 100 times. Ditto with mental arithmetic … addition, subtraction, short and long division and multiplication. We had to do it and woe betide you if you persisted in getting either words or arithmetic problems wrong. I can still spell correctly and at 62 still do long division of 4-figure numbers in my head.


  4. Look again, Buff. Every word is spelt quite correctly. 🙂


  5. Oh, I know they are spelled correctly … but they are a very bad example of how to USE the English language! Children of today see this as perfectly normal. It is not! 😦


  6. Clever post. What’s worse are the online “translator” programs, like babelfish. BEWARE.

    For your own amusement, type a lucid paragraph into babelfish, translate it into another language. Take that translation and have the program re-translate it into English.

    For example, I just translated the previous paragraph into Spanish, via babelfish, and it came out like this:

    “Para su propia diversión, mecanografíe un párrafo lúcido en babelfish, lo traducen a otra lengua. Tome esa traducción y haga que el programa lo re-traduzca en inglés.”

    Translating it back to English again, via babelfish:

    “For its own diversion, it types a paragraph shone in babelfish translate, it to another language. It takes that translation and it causes that re-it translates it to the program in English.”

    Babelfish is way beyond the Valley of Bitchin’… it’s 2/3rds of the way up to the Citadel of Stupid.


  7. @ Daddy P, there is another one coming in a couple of days 🙂

    @ Buff, with the growing reliance of sub-editors on spell-chuck programs, we are going to be treated to more – umm – homonyms – or is it homographs – or homophones?

    @ Bunk, welcome to the archive. I have had fun with babelfish before – although I tend to use it for simple phrases and that works reasonably well – translating a whole web page can be hilarious!


  8. hilarious I have no such excuse


  9. Damn glad to be here, Archie. The dialecticizer web page translator is fun, too: Have at it.


  10. Hilarious! I remember a most entertaining conversation once in which we all compared what spellchecker did to famous author’s names, like Simon de Beaver, for instance. It came about after my cousin declared that the spellchecked version of his own name was Iguana Boost. I find this hard to believe, but it was a great story.


  11. I really have corrupted your vision of French Philosophers. I always proof-read as well as spell check. Just in case I a word out – – –


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