101 Uses For A John Howard #98; Chicken Little

The last few days of the Election Campaign to End All Election Campaigns are driving our Home Theatre sound systems to complete distraction.

The John Howard doomsaying, as caught by Kudelka, Liberal hysteria about Unions and decades-old Interest Rates are all wall to wall on every TV and radio channel.

It may even have infected the print media. Not that anyone buys that any more – – –
The Labor warnings are so much quieter. Just “Beeps” as if they are Temptation contestants.

Perhaps this will set a new standard in Election Advertising.

Quiet wins Votes!

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! The skyyyy is faaaaalliiiiiinnnng! Seriously! I really mean it this time!

The world would be a dangerous place without fear. For example, just imagine the terrifying carnage on the roads without all those terrifying road safety ads showing us all the carnage on the roads. Or those “wombats next 5km” signs. Just imagine if you weren’t warned about all those bloody wombats. Shambles is the only word to describe it.

John “Chicken Little” Howard’s key goal as Prime Minister has been to keep us as relaxed, comfortable and scared shitless. While some might see a contradiction in the above strategy, that’s only because their senses have been dulled by their excessive latte intake.

Originally struck on the head by a spanner while pecking around a poorly maintained building site, John became convinced that the sky was falling due to an evil plot perpetrated by the union bosses of the Builders Labourers Federation and subsequently uncovered links to an evil cabal including the ACTU, boat people, the unemployed. single mothers, homosexuals, and of course, terrorists.

Some latte-addled members of the so-called elites even go so far to suggest that John is more “boy who cried wolf” than diminutive chicken, but that slanderous untruth is belied by Joe Hockey who recently pointed out that Liberal fear campaigns are based on fact whereas the Labor fear campaigns are complete fabrications, which should be bloody terrifying.

…with any luck.

3 responses to “101 Uses For A John Howard #98; Chicken Little

  1. I am SOOOOOO going to miss these delicious little snippets of humour! Please, please continue to use them, no matter who wins on Saturday …

    Unfortunately I only asked permission to use the “101 Uses” series. I fear it would be asking too much of a professional cartoonist to continue using his work like this. It has been brilliant, hasn’t it. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it as it has evolved.


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  3. That is a great tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere.
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