101 Uses For A John Howard #40

Kudelka strikes again.

Right to the heart of the Liberal Party Travelling Salvation Show.

The Snake Oil salesman is now in charge of the Health and Eternal Re-Election Department.


Throw away your crutches, walking frame, false teeth, insulin, asthma inhaler, eyeglasses, rubber underpants etc, because healing is upon you! Why put your faith in those amateur peddlers of hope in scientific research when you can go with the professionals?

That’s right, after the wildly successful experiment of making Reverend Tony Abbott Health Minister, the Department of Health is now being expanded to the Department of Health and Your Immortal Soul. All medical procedures will now be replaced by the laying on of hands (boxing gloves optional) after the sermon on Sunday mornings. All donations to the collection plate will receive a rebate under Medicare.

Sure, some godless heathens may prefer their medical needs to be catered for on a scientific basis involving the testing of hypotheses under controlled laboratory conditions, but frankly the sooner these people die of the righteous affliction bestowed upon them by a vengeful god and burn in the eternal hellfires of their own damnation, the better it will be for everyone. We’ll be praying for them.

Archie Archive: Defeating John Howard and winning the election, one post at a time.

2 responses to “101 Uses For A John Howard #40

  1. does this mean I’m out of a job?


  2. nursemyra, aren’t we all? Well, jobs that actually pay a living wage. I am waiting for Howard’s next instalment of the IR laws. The one where we have to pay our employer for the privilege of working.


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