Nude Gymnastics and Swimming

Heteren, 100Km east of Amsterdam, has just held the first nude gym session. Both participants and observers were happy.

One does not wonder at the need for medically qualified observers especially since a dozen middle-aged and elderly men took part. I hope they were medically qualified observers. Otherwise “Voyeur” springs to mind!

There are mixed views in the town and although a number of women have signed up, none appeared for the first session. Signees come from as far afield as Russia and Australia. (Now, in 2011, a Gymnasium in Spain has followed suit.)

No, I was not one of the signees. Mainly because the fare to Heteren is a little over $3,000 return. And I am allergic to exersize.

I am tempted to claim that Hugh Jackman attended as that would lead to the ambitious and capable raincoaster signing immediately.

Personally, once I discovered that we are all nude under our clothes, I began swimming at one of Perth’s nude beaches.
This stopped after I saw Jaws. Now I closely inspect home swimming pools before I swim in them. I check the bath after it has been filled. I even check desert sands for signs of the desert shark.

But nude gymnasia? I know the Greeks used to do that sort of thing, but they did not have exercise bicycles in those days. Can you imagine the damage the spinning spokes could do?

Nah! Let me have a quiet cringe to myself for a moment.

I’ll stick to nude swimming in shark free environments.

For a full report without sharks go to where I sourced this.

40 responses to “Nude Gymnastics and Swimming

  1. If the Good Lord had meant us to be nudists, we would have been born with no clothes on!


  2. I have been horrified to discover that the modern way is for women to have nude babies. It would never have happened in my time!


  3. A nude gym. I think I’ll pass.


  4. Hiya Rhea, (thinking back to Billy “Crash” Craddock who sang “Boom Boom Baby” back in the late 50’s, when the Baby Boomers were babies) Isn’t it strange how each culture develops differently. Here in Aus we have gone comparatively relaxed about body nudity. I’ll think of a post on that sometime this weekend.


  5. Sehr geEhrter AerChie

    You Homines pSeudo Sapiens are a mystery to Eagles and I suspect to yourselves, but for Eagles :

    — It is a Matter of Esthetics

    — Yuk = Nie dankie, nie

    How can one put this politely in a World-Leading Blog visited by so many Ladies & Children, Junior Eagles, Wild Canuck-Speaking Snee-Coyotes, a New Zealand Ostrich and assorted animals and at least 2 distinguished North-American Editors

    What possesses men who are so past their sell-by date to agree to being photographed in such an un=Interessant und Forgettable State of Un=Dress

    Your obedient servant etc

    G Eagle

    PS “Snee” (pronounced “Snay”) = Derbyshire Dialekt for Snow, as in “It’s been snee-ing rabbits”


  6. My God, going to the gym I always considered torture enough in the first place. Maybe the idea is that if you can really see your wobbly bits you will have more incentive to tone them up. Pretty horrific though.


  7. Actually, there’s a public pool not far from my house that’s had Co-ed Nude Swimming nights for years. Unfortunately, the quality of the nudes is such that you have to lift up their bellies to tell the genders apart.

    Hippies do not generally age well.


  8. Sehr geEhrter AerChie

    RC “… Hippies do not generally age well”

    Her Grace the Marchioness is too young to understand these things, but non-Hippies don’t age particularly attractively, either

    Yr ob servt etc



  9. Herrrrrrrrrr G eaGle, Homo sapiens sapiens is far more intelligent than the highest soaring eagle who is always at risk of being sucked into jet engines. In an attempt to bond more closely with the lower orders they sometimes perform strange actions, ictions and octions. Such as removing the coverings God had them born with. Others simply mangle the syntax.

    Litlove, any attention given to the wobbly bits will lead to exposure as a literatii and the opening of the Penguin edition of Hemingway’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls” at p39! Exersize is for the energetic. Now, turning pages is the limit of my exertions.

    Raincoaster, you raise the obvious question. How many of those bellies have you lifted in the course of your experiments?

    Herrrrrrrr G eaGle, again, hippies knew this and that was why so many of us began practicing the wearing the Kaftan. Unfortunately so many of us forgot to continue this form of apparal which hides a multitude of sins.


  10. None, of course. One look at their faces sent me screaming.


  11. You looked at their FACES?


  12. When will people learn that 99.9% of them look way better clothed? Even when they’re wearing polyester.

    And about that same percentage also don’t seem to know what they look like from behind.

    I wouldn’t feel happy placing my nude bits on a bicycle seat that someone else had nudely (nudily?) sweated all over – ewww! Even though they are using towels in the photo is there a ‘this-side-up’ notice on these towels?


  13. Hopefully the towels would be single use! Although they are of thicker material than would normally be worn by fully clothed gymnastiholics.


  14. Well MikeFitz
    I am not sure about you, but I was nekkid when I was born.
    Still I am not a nudist today lol


  15. Hiya John, welcome to Darwin from (currently) Newman. I thi9nk I am going to start a war on the alleged word “nekkid”. Are we so ashamed that the English language has a word for the state of nudity that we have to invent a different, meaningless word to use instead? As for being born naked, I think the point is, if God had meant us to fly, he would have given us wings, if God had meant us to be clothed he would have had us born wearing them. I accept the aesthetics of clothing but I will not accept that God insisted that we wear them. After all, it was Adam and Eve’s choice to use fig leaves, not God’s declaration.

    Who is this person God anyway? Did he really create the Babelfish?


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  17. your polite page has inspired me to you this;love will be. and what you let happen; is life with or without cloths


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  19. My only issue with it is that *clothed* gym’s have a hard enough time cleaning everyone’s sweat off everything on an hourly basis. When you have people using equipment naked, especially like an exercise bike where they’re sitting down and sweating on the seat for like an hour, multiplied by 10-15 bikes and up to a 50 people a day or more riding on them……..the germs…yikes. I’m a blue collar, whiskey drinking, tattooed artist type who’s not afraid to get his hands dirty but man….I couldn’t deal with it.

    I have to say I’m very entertained by the photo above though.

    Thanks for giving me something to laugh about this morning Archie!


    I quite agree. If I were to post this article now, it would be in my “Strange World” series. 🙂


  20. LOL

    That’s just NUTTY 😛

    Yup – even nuttier is the fact that this is my most visited post!


  21. look,

    this a.m. 75 nude bicyclists stopped ottowa – in protest of something- my view is with the French 2 hrs later they cycled back. No arrests or anything – if in WA Australia you’d be in gaol!! what the heck is wrong with not wearing clothes? It actually makes you a bettter athlete – hence the new swimmers for the Olympics et c. Wear what you like or don’t – for God’s sake no-one is looking at you – they are looking at your partner.



  22. and. frankly’ if you havn’t taken a cold invigorating shut up


  23. Hey, dougie, settle down – my blog, my rants 🙂


  24. how come only get pictures of guys i wood go gym if had naked girls


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  26. at home we have a kidney-shaped swimming pool that is well maintained, i love swimming on it all day long “


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