Twenty Two Years Ago


The saddest picture of all.

Neglected Christmas Gnome


It is the middle of July.

It is raining.

I am cold.

And wet.

And I hate snails!

Strange World #40; Plush Uterus Toy Recall


The makers of a “Plushie” uterus toy have had to issue a re-call notice.

uterus-hazard2

SUMMARY

Voluntary safety recall of Plush Uterus due to potential choking hazard for children. Recall participants will receive a 15%-off online coupon code. Consumers may either return for refund/exchange, or opt-out via email if the uterus is not accessible to children. Please notify gift recipients.

NOTICE

In an effort to ensure our plush products exceed federal and international safety standards, we learned the 2008 Plush Uterus has failed a pull test. The ovaries may detach when pulled, becoming a potential small part choking hazard for young children. No one has been harmed.

Although our website and sewn-on label state that the uterus is not for children aged 0-3, we have instituted a voluntary safety recall for the uterus plush. We have filed a safety recall notice with the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission (CPSC). If the plush uterus is being used by a young child, please remove it immediately. If you gave the uterus as a gift, please forward this email to the recipient(s).

All other I Heart Guts plush products have been certified as safe for all ages under US and European safety standards.

For the full recall notice, please go to “I Heart Guts”

Bunny Suicide #9


bunny11.jpg

L’Humeur? Mais Non!


A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied —

“Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh”.

De gaulle of the man. I don’t think he could even make it with Paris Nor mandy. He sounds a little in Seine to me. Probably too many Cannes. As Marcel Marceau would say…………..(and since he just died, umm, wondering just what his last mimes were, that is the final word on that subject)

(See if you have De Gaulle to repost this. I posted it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse!)

(thanks, Jeff)

Rare Timberlake Disease Fatal?


Justin Timberlake, for those who don’t know, is an American pop and R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer, and actor. He came to fame as the lead singer of pop boy band ‘N Sync and has won four Grammy Awards as well as an Emmy Award. In 2002, he released his debut solo album, Justified, which sold over seven million copies worldwide. Timberlake’s second solo release, FutureSex/LoveSounds, was released in 2006 with the U.S. number-one hit singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around… Comes Around”. With his first two albums, Timberlake has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. For a decade his partner was the now troubled Britney Spears.(With grateful thanks to Wikipedia)

With all that success, there are rumours that his life may tragically be shortened by an unusual disease!

Back in 2005, Timberlake discovered that he was suffering from a throat condition. What his medical team referred to as “nodules” were subsequently removed from his throat.

But what if they were not the normal “nodules” we expect to find on the larynx?

What if they were cellulosiverous Isoptera?

Doctors have revealed that there is no need for general panic as the disease appears to be genetically confined to the Timberlake family and is, in general, unlikely to affect the majority of the population. Although there is a possibility that the no longer stick-like Spears could also be harbouring the infection.

Isoptera would totally infest the Timberlake body and all his internal cellulose could be being consumed by these small, white, parasitic little critters.

By termites!

Vale, Luciano Pavarotti


Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti, hailed by many as the greatest tenor of his generation, has died after a battle with cancer.

Best known to the masses of non-opera buffs as one of the “Three Tenors”, Luciano Pavarotti began his career in 1963.

Another career highlight was in 1972, when he famously hit nine high C notes in a row in “Daughter of the Regiment” at New York’s Metropolitan Opera.

He later referred to the Metropolitan Opera as “my home”.

Photo Hunt #74; Dirty


My genealogical interests lead me into many cemeteries, new and old.

I am always distressed to find graves which have been forgotten. Broken, stained and covered in the detritus of even a well-maintained graveyard.

John Fouracre, who died a hundred years ago, was not one of my ancestors, although I know of several of his descendants. I wonder if any of those descendants is interested in their family history. Or if it will be another generation or two before that curiousity strikes a Fouracre. Will there still be a gravestone to find?

All I can do is pass by, and in passing, spare a thought for one of the men who helped, in a small way, to shape a part of the country in which I live. Ann Fouracre who had children, kept house and helped civilise the land, died twenty seven years earlier. A daughter died in the same year as her father. Perhaps there was an unremarked epidemic of some now-not-fatal disease.

For now they are remembered only by a dirty and neglected memorial.

dirty.jpg

The Iapple Irack


This has been around for a while but it is worth watching again!

Harry Potter, Breaking News; Musical and Mid-Life Crisis


British theatre casting directors are searching for the next Harry Potter to star in a musical based on the smash-hit books.

Producers are already working on a script for an all-singing, all-dancing show of J.K. Rowling’s stories to open at London’s West End next year.

Now a search is on for a young boy to take over the role from Daniel Radcliffe who played the wizard Potter on screen as well as a big-name composer to write the music for the show.

A theatre insider says: “The musical has the potential to be huge. You are already off to a head start with the most popular book of recent times.

As almost everyone now knows, JK Rowling ended her great series of Harry Potter books with an epilogue set around nineteen years after the final Battle of Hogwarts.

All the loose ends are neatly tied up and everything comes to a satisfactory conclusion.

Over on “The Radula”, dorid has found the additional details to the epilogue which were not included in the book.

There is an epilogue video to Harry Potter 7, Harry Potter and the Mid-life Crisis which has more to say about the loose ends.

I really must protest at the cruel way women treat us poor males when we are down.

101 Uses For A John Howard #74


 Desperation is setting in in the great USA.

Some even see the Heads of State APEC meeting later this week in Sydney as a chance for Australia’s John Howard to impart some wisdom to George W Bush.

It won’t happen!

Great cartoonist Kudelka shows us why!

Mark Latham: a man not averse to calling it like he saw it and “conga line of suckholes” was some of his best work. Dress up your old vacuum cleaner as George W, point John W at the appropriate orifice, whack on some conga music and the awesome suction power of the Liberal Party is at your service.It’s been worked out by reputable scientists acting on the best data available to them at the time that if John Howard were attached to the rectum of a real human being who he was convinced was either George W Bush, the Queen, a talkback radio presenter or any past or present Test cricketer, he would suck that person’s brain right out their backside. Some conjecture is that this has already occurred with at least one of the above.

Pictured here with the optional extra Alexander Downer module, the Howard CongaCleaner™ is suctioning up the gigatons of bullshit still festooning the landscape of Iraq. Even with industrial strength bullshit-inhaling capacity available, it’s going to be quite a long time before The Job Is Done, but at least we know now what The Job is.

Photo Hunt #72; Happy


Young camel, young human.

Both of them laughing.

On more serious note, my sympathies go out to KissedAlotOfToads who has become a regular visitor to my Photo hunt entries and her sister PowersTwinB who lost their mother during the week. You are both in my thoughts.

Useless


There seems to be a mathematical leaning on the archive today.

Here is another from a series of cartoons on xkcd. Several have already been used on the archive. Here is another I couldn’t resist. There are still several others I may weaken on as well.

useless.jpg

Under the influence of love, the average man becomes inarticulate and cannot understand what is happening.

Poets may become verbose yet they too, under the influence of love, lose their understanding.

The Fable of the Government’s Care for Our Veterans


I received this information in an email from a friend who is a Australian Vietnam Vet.

This so fits in with what our Government has been doing to the brave men and women who follow the orders of that Government, no matter how senseless and self-seeking those orders may be.

Back in March I posted about four of John Howard’s lies, including the infamous “We’ll Look After Your Families!” lie.

This is an extension of this lie relating to just how caring this Government is about those who put their lives into danger to further their policies which are often not in this country’s best interests.

Anyway, this is about an old war and so it can’t possibly be important.

Can it?

To all members of the veteran community who have supported COVVHS (Children of Vietnam Veterans Health Study)

It is with great sadness, that I write this report.

When COVVHS was formed in 2003, we honestly believed we had a reasonable request. In 2004, we asked the government a simple question:

Is there a higher incidence of chronic health conditions in the sons and daughters of veterans than their peers? If so what can be done to help these young members of society. And what can be done to stop this continuing in the children of younger veterans?

The former Minister for Veteran Affairs, Mrs. Dana Vale instigated the feasibility study in 2004. Since that time, thousands of veterans and their children have informed COVVHS of their calamitous health problems and are waiting for some action.

An eminent panel of scientists, appointed by the government, has recommended that such a study was feasible and was worthy of doing. They reported to the Minister for Veteran Affairs, Bruce Billson in September 2006.Instead of following the recommendations the Minister took another line.

He formed another panel of experts to readdress the issue.

One he said would deliver quicker results!

If you read the Ministers speech to the 92nd State Congress of the RSL’s Victoria branch 4th July 2007. On page 6 he talks of the health issues and reasons surrounding his decisions. He puts a reasonable case. But is it really true?

The Minister chooses his words carefully and takes parts of the original scientists report, out of context. Had he accepted their recommendation we would be well along the way to knowing the health status of our children.

The minister talks of caring and compassion. He has not responded to any of us…other than one phone call to the COVVHS Chairperson to complain vigorously that we were clogging up his Fax machines!!

When we started this journey, I really believed that we lived in a true and just society. What a naive individual I was!! When governments can play with words to their own justification, what hope do we have?

When a Minister can sit in front of a group of women and agree to do something and then completely ignore that offer and not even have the courtesy to reply to them as to why he has reneged. (I refer to the meeting with members of the PVA in April, this year) We are being treated with utter contempt by the Government and Ministry for Veteran Affairs.

I can only hope the “pen is mightier than the sword” when the Election comes.

I can only hope the next government will have more understanding of what is right and follow through on issues that are ethically and morally correct.

What hope have we as a community when the government spends literally hundreds of thousands of dollars to fight one World War 2 widow who only wants a war widow’s pension??

To all of the veteran community whose hopes I have raised and once again we have been let down, I humbly apologise.

Early in this venture, I received an a-mail from someone who wished me luck, but said she doubted we would get anywhere as it has been tried in the past and failed. I would hate to think she proves to be right!

Our men, and now women, who are sent to fight for their wonderful Australia are still just “cannon fodder” and so are their families.

I make no apologies for any of this message. It just saddens me greatly that this government throws a pittance of dollars for projects to keep “the veterans” quiet and millions of dollars for “cold hard monuments”.

Surely something really productive could be done for the health of our warm breathing innocent children and their families.

I guess honest caring groups of people will continue to be overpowered by the “wordsmiths” of Parliament!

Sincerely

Sue Parker – National PVA children’s health spokesperson.

Archie Archive: Defeating John Howard and winning the election, one post at a time.

Bunny Suicide #5


Shhhh – be vewwy vewwy quiet – Maybe no one will notice me posting yet another example of Leporidae’s urge to leave this world so as to create more room for their offspring.

bunny8.jpg

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,048 other followers

%d bloggers like this: