Twenty Two Years Ago


The saddest picture of all.

Neglected Christmas Gnome


It is the middle of July.

It is raining.

I am cold.

And wet.

And I hate snails!

Strange World #40; Plush Uterus Toy Recall


The makers of a “Plushie” uterus toy have had to issue a re-call notice.

uterus-hazard2

SUMMARY

Voluntary safety recall of Plush Uterus due to potential choking hazard for children. Recall participants will receive a 15%-off online coupon code. Consumers may either return for refund/exchange, or opt-out via email if the uterus is not accessible to children. Please notify gift recipients.

NOTICE

In an effort to ensure our plush products exceed federal and international safety standards, we learned the 2008 Plush Uterus has failed a pull test. The ovaries may detach when pulled, becoming a potential small part choking hazard for young children. No one has been harmed.

Although our website and sewn-on label state that the uterus is not for children aged 0-3, we have instituted a voluntary safety recall for the uterus plush. We have filed a safety recall notice with the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission (CPSC). If the plush uterus is being used by a young child, please remove it immediately. If you gave the uterus as a gift, please forward this email to the recipient(s).

All other I Heart Guts plush products have been certified as safe for all ages under US and European safety standards.

For the full recall notice, please go to “I Heart Guts”

Bunny Suicide #9


bunny11.jpg

L’Humeur? Mais Non!


A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied —

“Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh”.

De gaulle of the man. I don’t think he could even make it with Paris Nor mandy. He sounds a little in Seine to me. Probably too many Cannes. As Marcel Marceau would say…………..(and since he just died, umm, wondering just what his last mimes were, that is the final word on that subject)

(See if you have De Gaulle to repost this. I posted it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse!)

(thanks, Jeff)

Rare Timberlake Disease Fatal?


Justin Timberlake, for those who don’t know, is an American pop and R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer, and actor. He came to fame as the lead singer of pop boy band ‘N Sync and has won four Grammy Awards as well as an Emmy Award. In 2002, he released his debut solo album, Justified, which sold over seven million copies worldwide. Timberlake’s second solo release, FutureSex/LoveSounds, was released in 2006 with the U.S. number-one hit singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around… Comes Around”. With his first two albums, Timberlake has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. For a decade his partner was the now troubled Britney Spears.(With grateful thanks to Wikipedia)

With all that success, there are rumours that his life may tragically be shortened by an unusual disease!

Back in 2005, Timberlake discovered that he was suffering from a throat condition. What his medical team referred to as “nodules” were subsequently removed from his throat.

But what if they were not the normal “nodules” we expect to find on the larynx?

What if they were cellulosiverous Isoptera?

Doctors have revealed that there is no need for general panic as the disease appears to be genetically confined to the Timberlake family and is, in general, unlikely to affect the majority of the population. Although there is a possibility that the no longer stick-like Spears could also be harbouring the infection.

Isoptera would totally infest the Timberlake body and all his internal cellulose could be being consumed by these small, white, parasitic little critters.

By termites!

Vale, Luciano Pavarotti


Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti, hailed by many as the greatest tenor of his generation, has died after a battle with cancer.

Best known to the masses of non-opera buffs as one of the “Three Tenors”, Luciano Pavarotti began his career in 1963.

Another career highlight was in 1972, when he famously hit nine high C notes in a row in “Daughter of the Regiment” at New York’s Metropolitan Opera.

He later referred to the Metropolitan Opera as “my home”.

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