Octomania


Australia has been fascinated by the antics of an octopus which has been keeping a New Zealand Aquarium on its toes.

Sid the Octopus managed to escape from its tank and go on the run for five days.

Next those vindictive aquarium keepers have decided to sentence Sid to death.

I am unsure if Pepsi signed Sid up for this TV commercial or if they took the easy route and used an untamed Cascadian Tree Octopi as the star.

Not All Grampas Are The Same


I like Old Grandad Bourbon – – -

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, ‘I’ve lost my grandpa!’

The cop asked, ‘What’s he like?’

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

‘Johnnie Walker Black Label Whiskey and women with big tits.’

Am I The Only One Offended?


The whole PC movement is way out of control.

Merely laughing at something is going to offend someone, somewhere, somehow.

So we are no longer allowed to laugh at others or their habits. We are not allowed to “typecast” persons or people or nations.

The downside is that no one is allowed to laugh at us. Or to “typecast” us or our habits or our nation.

No matter how seriously we take our foolish selves.

Somewhere today I will find a Polish/Irish/English/Scottish/American/Australian/NewZealand/blonde/redhead/man/woman/tall/short/hairy/bald/Baptist/Catholic/Atheist joke. And I will laugh at it. At the same time, someone will laugh at a joke about me and my habits.

Until then, try to laugh at this and offend no one.

Sunday Night Live; Episode 10



The archive’s Sunday entertainment spot

Or Saturday Night Live if you live in the Western Hemisphere

A great entertainer may start out as a comedian yet there is always that something extra in his repertoire.

Paul McDermott began as a member of the Doug Anthony Allstars, an anarchic trio who tried hard to hide the fact that they could sing.

After DAAS broke up and the three continued their separate paths in show business, just occasionally some magic happened.

Like the night Paul’s “Good News Week” had another ex-DAAS member, Richard Fidler, as a special guest.

A little of the classic DAAS anarchy to begin with followed by a wonderful moment in entertainment!

Squirrel That Looks Like Hitler


Nonono – Please don’t invoke Godwin’s Law just yet.

Wait until after viewing the following fable.

Which is in keeping with my elite Goth status as discovered in my previous posting.

Found on Max’s blog

You probably need a coffee after viewing that effort – – -

Australia Nearly Sinks


Last night, un-noticed by most Australians, the continent was severely shaken by a massive upheaval as just over a million inhabitants of the sleepy City of the Churches finally realised there was more to life than freezing in the winter, losing AFL matches and drinking the worlds worst beer!

So, in the first concerted effort the Crow-eaters have ever successfully performed, they upped and moved Adelaide to the North Coast.

There is no news at this stage as to the fate of Darwin.

The BBC, as always, was first with the most accurate news of the event.

In breaking news, former Administrator of the Northern Territory, Ted Egan, has reportedly commented on the situation and, after removing the expletives, he said, ” !”

Current Administrator Tom Pauling was unavailable for comment although Bluey, from the Darwin City Council Parks and Gardens Department, was adamant that Adelaide was not going to take Darwin’s place as the capital City of the Territory.

He said, “If those bloody wankers from down south reckon they can move up here with their bloody failing footy teams and their bloody Southwark Cat’s Piss and just bloody take over, they have another bloody think coming!”

Bert, from the Darwin Dunnyman Brigade, threatened violence unless Bluey withdrew the “W” word. He said, “My bloody brother Mick and my bloody sister Sheila went to bloody Adelaide after bloody Cyclone Tracy back in 1974. They are not bloody wankers and if you call them that again I’ll bloody punch your lights out!”

The apprentice tree lopper, Sandy, pointed out that there are no wankers in Adelaide. She said,”It is a bloody posh place which is the home of the bloody previous Foreign Minister of Australia, bloody Shirley Downer, and they are not bloody wankers, they are all bloody masturbaters!”. As Sandy started her chainsaw, Bluey and Bert moved away.

[just what were the expletives deleted from Ted Egan's comment? Sub-Ed]

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is having a report on the night’s events prepared while opposition spokesman on city relocations, Tony Abbott, blasted the Government for condoning this pre-emptive city move. Opposition Leader, Brendan Nelson blasted Kevin Rudd for not having known about the proposed move and being out of touch with the average Australian, while the opposition spokesman for Blaming Howard’s Inflation on Labor, Malcom Turnbull, rubbed his hands together in glee as he told reporters that this was going to raise inflation again and it was all Kevin Rudd’s fault!

Meanwhile, there are growing rumours that a large section of Melbourne is about to be moved to the Gold Coast. “The only thing holding us back,” said Eddie McGuire, “Is how to ensure that only Collingwood and its supporters are moved.”

Anna Bligh has refused to comment at this stage.

In Britain, the BBC has been nominated for several awards for this amazing piece of reporting.

(Thanks for the tip-off, Mike. They changed it within the hour, so that was well caught.)

Road Rage


Randall of XKCD has brought the brutality of road rage into the cyber-world.

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