We avoided G-hova’s Rapture last weekend.
Pastor Camping got the day right but the planet wrong.
There are now a lot of terrified Little Green Things swimming in the oceans of Europa, out Jupiter way. Not as many as before, but still quite a few.
The problem they had, which G-hova had overlooked was that the Bibles He passed on to the early Little Green Things kept dissolving in the water. It is very hard to have a library which is constantly underwater!
So when the righteous Little Green Things (Dammit – “LGT’s”) were all Raptured the remainder were not only confused but became convinced that the way to be safe was to be BAD. The living conditions have suddenly become absolutely atrocious. Think of a combination of Iran, Burma, Zimbabwe and Alabama.
They only have to endure these conditions for several months as November 21st will be here quite soon. The difficulty for the LTG’s is that there will be approximately 450 generations between now and then.
Meanwhile, here on Earth, there is another Second Coming which is growing ever closer. It will NOT be a Rapturous Time!
The disguise is finally coming off.
Chicthulhu has now been outed!
Described by raincoaster as Chihuahuas horrible, virtually untrainable, dumb knicknacks with teeth and bad tempers we can finally see them as they really are.
From sleeping in R’lyeh they are now taking over the purses of New York and stealing souls whenever they manage to find one. Although Chicthulhu is getting hungrier. Souls are normally checked at the door in New York.
Be afraid. Be very very afraid!
I tested this new “Writing Analyzer” which I found because I read the unmatchable Raincoaster’s most recent post on the “Shebeen Club” by giving it a sample from my recent “Aliens and Australians” blog post. I was deemed to write like :
I thought to myself, I did, Wow! That’s cool.
So I decided to do a control check and I tested a few paragraphs from my even more recent post on Religion.
And found that
So now I have this vision of Bertie Wooster with tentacles. Or of Cthulhu Himself with a Shoggoth named Jeeves.
Close to a tributary of an ocean lives a Vancouveritess. She has read a book. It was written by one H P Lovecraft and was called the Dunwich Horror.
Her greatest hope is to one day become a victim of the other-dimensional horror described in that book.
Possibly, in a previous existence, she was a short-lived extra in this film.
Yet the one we should fear most is still out there, gathering and devouring, souls.
Cthulhu in all his glory.
I count coup, rain
Image delivered in an email. The source and artist (photographer?) will be acknowledged when revealed.
Much as I try to hide it, the truth is that I am a closet geek. I am fascinated by science and especially by Physics. So when I find a headline like this, I do two things, firstly I wonder just what Cthulhu is up to in His non-Euclidean and non-Newtonian Universe and secondly I read, and if possible, share the article.
I found this online at the ABC (the OZ one)
Dwarf galaxies orbiting the Milky Way are breaking the laws of physics, prompting another modification of Newton’s theory of gravitation. Astrophysicist Dr Hemut Jerjen of the Australian National University and colleagues report their findings in two scientific papers this month. “The only way out of this is to change Newton’s laws,” says Jerjen, whose research is published in The Astrophysical Journal and the Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society.
When astronomers first studied the dwarf galaxies that orbit the Milky Way, they found something intriguing. The stars further away from the centre of the dwarf galaxy were moving faster than they should have. Under Newton’s gravitational law, the stars further out should have been moving slower than the ones closer to the centre. This occurs, for example, in the Solar System where Neptune is the slowest-moving planet and Mercury is the fastest.
But astronomers found the stars in the dwarf galaxies were all moving at the same speed, regardless of how far away they were from the centre. “They are moving too fast for classical Newtonian dynamics,” says Jerjen.
Traditionally, astronomers have made sense of such anomalies by introducing the concept of “dark matter”. They suggested dwarf galaxies contained invisible matter, which explained the more rapid movement of the stars within them. But now Jerjen and colleagues have made an observation that undermines a classical Newtonian explanation involving dark matter.
Dark matter given the flick
They found the dwarf galaxies were orbiting in a two-dimensional plane around the Milky Way, instead of orbiting randomly in a ball around it. Previous research suggests these kind of dwarf galaxies are “tidal satellites”, formed from the collision of two large galaxies. Theoretical calculations predicted they could not contain dark matter.
“We are now in a dilemma,” says Jerjen. “We know from observing stars in these dwarf galaxies that the stars are moving too fast. Classically this was explained by dark matter. But because we know that these dwarf galaxies do not contain dark matter we have to come up with another solution.”
Jerjen says the findings lend support to the Modified Newtonian Dynamics (MOND) theory, developed decades ago by Israeli scientist Mordehai Milgrom. The theory proposes a new physical constant that only comes into play when one is observing large-scale objects that accelerate slowly, such as stars in tidal satellite galaxies. “This theory was never really tested extensively,” says Jerjen. “What we’ve now found is empirical observational evidence that possibly this theory is a natural explanation of what we observe in these dwarf galaxies.”
While classical Newtonian physics generally still applies to everyday life, various other modifications have been made to cope with particular circumstances. Other modifications to Newton’s theory of gravitation include Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity and General Relativity, which applies at astronomical scales, and quantum mechanics, which applies at the sub-atomic scale.
It is so easy to forget that the sky is still above us after dark. We see and appreciate the stars yet we often fail to spot the eldritch beauty of a clouded sky with a near full moon shining through.
Here is one to bring out the closet Goths and any stray vampires we have in our midst.
A few days before the last full moon I was picnicking in the desert as I showed in last week’s SWF.
About an hour after that photo was snapped, I looked into the night sky and saw the thin cloud whitened by the light of the moon and the dark depths of space showing through the gaps.
A number of thoughts and images crossed my mind, including HP Lovecraft’s gothic horror title, “The Colour Out Of Space.”
Was the dreaded Cthulhu peering down on us through the gaps in those clouds?
As I said at the start, one for the Goths amongst us.
Click on the image for a full sized version.
The Queen of Squidliciousness is suffering from the combined problems of a sick computer and an uncooperative blog host.
Consequently it is necessary for the archive to take up some of the slack.
While the raincoaster does warn people that
sometimes friends have to step into the breach.
Urgent breaking news compels me to post the following, and may Cthulhu have mercy on my souls.
A giant squid has been found off Portland in Victoria’s south-west. The six-metre long, 230-kilogram squid was still alive when it was netted by commercial fishermen last night.
Fisheries Victoria says the creature is being kept in a freezer and will be transferred to the Melbourne Museum. The museum is yet to confirm whether it will be used for scientific research or put on display.
Bob McPherson of the local sport and Game Fishing Club says it is not the first squid netted off Portland, but it is the largest.
Pictured is a veterinarian who thinks the beast is a pregnant cow in disguise.
Udderly ridiculous. But this IS the archive.
The High Priestess of slimy squiddishness has given her acolytes permission to use cartoons in His Cthulhuness’ honour. I shall take advantage of that generous dispensation.
It is a little known fact that the Eater of Souls sometimes needs to have a break from his obligatory fhtagning.
At times like that he has a short holiday, at the beach, of course. Unfortunately, the little one thinks he has just seen the Invisible Pink Unicorn. That could spoil the holiday.
Over the past couple of years I have received a number of cartoons, photographs etc. from non-blogging readers. While I save them, unfortunately the origin is often not supplied or it is from a “fwd”-email where that origin is lost in the mists. As Raincoaster has just reminded me, I should make more of an effort to find the original source.
In this case, I have been able to find the source. It is from a wonderfully talented cartoonist with a totally warped sense of humour.