Pretend Poetry

pretend poetry1

Street Wisdom

street wisdom 20

The Next Three Word Slogan

A Fictional Tale

About Fictional Aliens masquerading as Human Beings


The scene; A despondent meeting in the Prime Minister’s Office.

tony abbott, “This Senate is so hard to control. They all have minds of their own and I can’t get stuff through. It makes me look weak.”

Peta Credlin, “Well, your popularity is so far down the tubes you cannot call a double dissolution. Rupert doesn’t have everything he wants yet so you cannot give the Government benches away. He will not like it!”

“Well what can I do” asks a querulous tony. “OH Wait! There has been a plane crash involving Australians. Surely we can use that somehow.

“True.” says Peta. “I remember a time when John Howard was way down in the polls and he found an international incident to cling onto and it helped raise him up in the polls.”

“That’s right!” cries abbott. “9/11. It worked for him. He found a scapegoat and things went really well for him.”

“Don’t forget the Russians are right next door and Putin is coming here for the G20 meeting.” Peta contributes.

“That’s right,” crows tony. I can start blaming the Russians now and Rupert’s  media will raise a huge hatred of them here in Australia. It doesn’t matter what he does overseas. Then I can ban Putin and any other Russians from coming here. That will win us the support of a majority of Australians.”

“Hmmmm,” Peta thoughtfully says. “There is not a lot of evidence that this has anything to do with the Russians. It seems the separatists got hold of this missile system when they overran one of the Ukrainian bases. It wasn’t supplied by the Russians. Some Eastern separatist fool decided to fire at will and ask questions later.”

“We don’t need to worry about complicated stuff like that even if it is true. We cannot make that into a three word slogan, no matter how hard we try. “Russians did it” is much more suited to convincing those dodos who vote for us. And it fits into Rupert’s headlines so well.”

“OK.” says Peta. So now we whip up anti-Russian feeling for about three weeks. Then we ban Putin from entering Australia. Then we can do the Double Dissolution thing and get proper control of an open and adult Parliament.”

“Yes!” concludes tony. “It worked for John Howard, it’ll work for me.”

At least, I hope it is a fiction.


BBC Quiz of the Week


LAST Week:- I went shopping with my grand daughters yesterday and so totally embarrassed them. I found one of those tremblingly terrified doors which has the ‘This door is Alarmed” sign on it. Then I gave it a cuddle to comfort it and explaine dthat things were getting better. The grand daughters tried very hard to ignore me for the rest of the day. If they looked like forgiving me I would innocently say, “But it was so scared!” and that would set them off again  :)

Hats and Crowns:-  A very good effort with low scores of 3/7 yet again mean that the Hat is unemployed this week. DaisyFae almost won a Crown with her 6/7.

THIS Week.  After blowing the first question I scored 4 in a row so was feeling rather good till I flubbed the last two. So that gave me a disappointing 4/7.   How will you score this week?

Previous Dunces

11th July , 3/7, No hat awarded

4th July, 2/7, healingmagichands

27th June, 2/7, Rob

2oth June, 3/7, No hat awarded

13th June, 1/7, Rob

7th June, 3/7, No Hat awarded

30th May, 4/7, No hat awarded

23rd May, 2/7, Ærchie, healingmagichands

16th May, 3/7 , no hat awarded.

9th May, 2/7, Rob

2nd May, 2/7, Rob

25th Apr, 1/7, Rob


Crown Winners (7/7)

14th Sept, 2012, healingmagichands

28th Sept, 2012, dinahmow

5th Oct, 2012, dinahmow, healingmagichands, Buff

7th Dec, 2012, healingmagichands, Rob

31st May, 2013, dinahmow

14th June, 2013, dinahmow

26th July 2013, dinahmow

9th August 2013, dinahmow

21st Mar, 2014, healingmagichands

Lots of Fun


In the 1930′s & 1940′s when these were published in The Western Mail,

PCishness was not a consideration


old joke18g

old joke18c

old joke18b

old joke18a

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old joke18e

old joke18d

old joke18h

old joke 18a

old joke 18b

old joke 18c

old joke 18d

old joke 18e

old joke 18f

old joke 18g

From a Roman Wall #38


“I’m sorry Citizens.” Nellus announced to the customers at her Forum Cafeterium. “The pistrino, the bakery, has told me there will be no small loaves of panum, bread, today.”

“Well what are we going to have with our caffeinus today?” asked Zoophilus.

“I enjoy these Turkish sweets most mornings.” said Libertinus.

“We can see that.” remarked Secundus cruelly, looking at Libertinus’ growing girth. “But the rest of us enjoy a plain lump of panum with our caffeinus. After a convivio, a banquet, the previous night we need something bland to settle our stomachs.”

“And last night’s convivio was a really good one. The entertainments were breathtaking. That Greek Comedy was excellent. There are some marvellous Greek actors in Modern Rome.” Literatus the Librarian added. “But I do enjoy a small crusty panum in the mornings.”

“I didn’t want to start a riot,” apologised Nellus. “It is just that the baker has decided there isn’t enough profit in the few little loaves they make.”

Verbo Ipsum noticed the two different lines the conversations were going.

In his obscure way, he commented “That’s quite understandable. In bakeries those buns just pay small roles.”



roman graffiti

How Dumb is Australia?

We all know why we dislike tony abbott.

He is a liar, he is loud, he dumbs everything and everyone down, abbotthe speaks in slogans, he is an embarrassmment to our country. He is botoxed, hair-dyed and, did I say a liar? Oh yes, I already did.

Yet he managed to get himself elected to the highest office in the land.

shortenNow I keep hearing people on the Left complaining bitterly that Bill Shorten is not doing anything. That he is not charismatic. That he is unelectable.

Yet he is not a liar. He does not speak at the level of the average five year old. He speaks with explanations and proofs and thoughtfulness. He is well presented and presents himself well. He does have lines on his forehead, the result of thinking.

He does not shout, he does not over-use slogans and he is considered in his statements.

The true evil of abbott and his minders, handlers and puppet-masters is that they have reduced Australia to the level of five-year-olds. We now demand even shorter slogans, dumber ideas and tabloid stupidity from our leaders and if they don’t give it then we will not elect them.

Bill Shorten is a man many countries would be proud to have as their Leader.

But not Australia, it seems.

He is not enough like the man we want him to replace.


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