“Ahhh” said Literatus the Librarian in satisfaction. “Modern Rome mid-mornings are perfect. Hot Caffeinus and Nellus’s coxis swaying.”
He watched the short toga of the Barristerus as she returned to her tabula.
“Oh stop it!” complained Secundus. “There are far more important events in Rome today.”
“Yes,” exclaimed Verbo Ipsum. “Haven’t you heard? In the Rotunda, Caesar has accused Brutus of cannibalism!”
“He has WHAT?” spluttered Literatus.
“He was clearly heard to say,” explained Verbo, “Ate Dudes, Bruté?”
Drinking his caffeinus and munching on a Greek pastry, Zoophilus was looking very hassled.
“What’s wrong with you today?’” quaeritur Verbo Ipsum.
“I’m trying to catch up on my accounts and nothing is quite adding up. I’ve had to ask Marti, my slave girl, to do the invoicing and she has done an excellent job with most of it.” dictum est Zoophilus.
“I don’t see the problem.” commented Verbo.
“Oh she has done all the invoices for the tradesmen and the Phonecian shippers. She has even invoiced Hannibal for the Elephant Grass. But they are all the small accounts. The big money is due from Ceasar and the Senate. Those accounts were just not done yesterday.”
“Why not?” The unsuspecting Verbo turned to the slave girl. “Why are those bills taking so long?”
“All the little accounts are so easy and I got them done first. By the time I started on the big ones there was not enough light left to finish them yesterday. I will finish them after my caffeinus.” said Marti, “I am sorry that Rome wasn’t billed in a day!”
It being the Season for Rabbits, if anyone actually caught the Easter Bunny and is unsure what to do with him, this issue of the Australian Women’s Weekly had a whole page of Rabbit Recipes. Some of which sound delicious.
I was brought up on underground mutton – - – Click on the image for some tasty noms.
“Here is your Caffeinus, Magister,” the slave girl Marti said.
“Gratias tibi,” replied Zoophilus. “Have one yourself.”
He turned to Verbo Ipsum and said, around a mouthful of Bologna Sausage, “This is great food. Nellus has outdone herself with today’s cooking. What is the tastiest sausage you have come across in your travels?”
“Hmmmm” mused Verbo. “There was a nice dish in Caledonia. Made from sheep intestines and oatmeal. That was good. Coming back towards Rome, I found nothing worthwhile in Gaul. They do stuff with eggs and frog legs. Not nice.”
“So Caledonian sausages are the best?” asked Literatus.
“Oh no. the Huns do some very good sausages,” replied Verbo. “Whenever you visit there, always be prepared for the wurst.
“Excellent Caffeinus!” Libertinus shouted across to Nellus the Barristerus.
And it was indeed an excellent blend, brought all the way from Libya and roasted to perfection by the Arabian traders in their quarter of Modern Rome.
Literatus the Librarian grumbled, ‘The Caffeinus may be good but I wonder at the young people of today. They have so little culture and their education is sadly lacking.”
“You really have a grump on today”, said Verbo Ipsum. “What has brought that on?”
“Walking here today I spotted a new graffiti carved on the west wall of this open space.” explained Literatus. “It read, ‘OMFG teh phoenecian suckz LOL’. Such immaturity. And their spelling!”
“Ahh”, exclaimed Verbo Ipsum, “What else can you expect from a Forum Poster.