In the 1930′s & 1940′s when these were published in The Western Mail,
PCishness was not a consideration
“Ahhh” said Literatus the Librarian in satisfaction. “Modern Rome mid-mornings are perfect. Hot Caffeinus and Nellus’s coxis swaying.”
He watched the short toga of the Barristerus as she returned to her tabula.
“Oh stop it!” complained Secundus. “There are far more important events in Rome today.”
“Yes,” exclaimed Verbo Ipsum. “Haven’t you heard? In the Rotunda, Caesar has accused Brutus of cannibalism!”
“He has WHAT?” spluttered Literatus.
“He was clearly heard to say,” explained Verbo, “Ate Dudes, Bruté?”
Drinking his caffeinus and munching on a Greek pastry, Zoophilus was looking very hassled.
“What’s wrong with you today?’” quaeritur Verbo Ipsum.
“I’m trying to catch up on my accounts and nothing is quite adding up. I’ve had to ask Marti, my slave girl, to do the invoicing and she has done an excellent job with most of it.” dictum est Zoophilus.
“I don’t see the problem.” commented Verbo.
“Oh she has done all the invoices for the tradesmen and the Phonecian shippers. She has even invoiced Hannibal for the Elephant Grass. But they are all the small accounts. The big money is due from Ceasar and the Senate. Those accounts were just not done yesterday.”
“Why not?” The unsuspecting Verbo turned to the slave girl. “Why are those bills taking so long?”
“All the little accounts are so easy and I got them done first. By the time I started on the big ones there was not enough light left to finish them yesterday. I will finish them after my caffeinus.” said Marti, “I am sorry that Rome wasn’t billed in a day!”
It being the Season for Rabbits, if anyone actually caught the Easter Bunny and is unsure what to do with him, this issue of the Australian Women’s Weekly had a whole page of Rabbit Recipes. Some of which sound delicious.
I was brought up on underground mutton – - – Click on the image for some tasty noms.
NO ASYLUM SEEKER ARRIVALS have been reported in any media, Australian or Indonesian, over the past couple of weeks. The Monsoon season is close to an end.
After taking a bit of a break, partly for the RI Elections, it appears that Refugees are again on the agenda and I would expect a few boats to begin setting out before the end of the month.
This week we have seen a little “ancient history” revealed.
The Guardian reported that ” An Australian customs ship entered far deeper into Indonesian waters than has previously been disclosed despite having digital navigational charts that displayed the correct boundaries of Indonesia’s territorial baselines, casting doubt on some of the findings of a review commissioned to investigate the incursions. The Ocean Protector entered Indonesia’s internal waters – placing it nine kilometres inside the country’s territorial seas and just 27 kilometres from Indonesia’s shore – on 14 January in Pelabuhan Ratu bay, according to digital navigational maps from the vessel, seen by Guardian Australia and published here.”
“Turnbacks abandoned, says Jakarta” was reported on the same day by Michael Bachelard in the SMH
Military Commander General Moeldoko said on Wednesday that his Australian military counterpart, presumably chief of defence David Hurley, had told him that no more boats would be returned to Indonesia.
Jakarta (ANTARA News) – Indonesia will address protection steps on the irregular movement of persons during an international workshop that is to be held in Jakarta on April 21-22. The Foreign Affairs Ministrys Director General of multilateral, Hasan Kleib, stated during a press conference at the ministrys office in Jakarta, on Thursday, that the workshop was a follow up of the Jakarta Declaration, which was pledged by high-level representatives of the Special Conference on Irregular Movement of Persons on August 20, 2013. “This workshop was aimed to come up with a guidelines on how to protect the victims of smuggling and trafficking when theyre arrested during their journey through the transit or destination countrys territory,” Kleib explained.
It almost sounds as though Indonesia is, very politely, losing patience with the “Australian Solution”.
The West Australian has reported, this morning, “Indonesia’s director-general for multilateral affairs, Hasan Kleib, will encourage Australia to “work together again” on the issue. He says seven asylum-seeker boats have been turned back since December – three of them using orange lifeboats. Mr Kleib says he understands Australia has opted for a “zero entry” policy, but it is “touching on other issues that relate to us”. There are now at least 10,623 asylum seekers and refugees in Indonesia who face years of waiting for resettlement, and who are vulnerable to people smugglers in the meantime. “They go there in the middle of the sea, are caught by Australia, pushed back to us and become the burden of us again,” Mr Kleib told reporters in Jakarta on Thursday. “So we want to share the burden … it’s what I’ve said since the beginning, people smuggling is under the category of transnational organised crime. “If it is transnational, then there is no one country in the world that can handle it alone.“
(Bogor is a city of around 1 million people 60 kilometers south of the Indonesian capital Jakarta.)
The Jakarta Post reported on 12th April, “Bogor authorities are set to crack down on asylum seekers and refugees in the mountainous resort region of Puncak, although many local people have no objection to their presence and activities, which have reportedly caused no trouble for the community.
Residents of Batu Kasur village in Batulayang said the asylum seekers and refugees, who have left their home countries in the Middle East, should not be removed, but that the relevant authorities should instead help them to solve their problems.“
The monsoon trough lies in the vicinity of Christmas Island and is expected to remain nearby over the coming days. A weak low may develop within the trough, to the east of Christmas Island, during the weekend. Forecast for the rest of Friday 18 April A shower or two with the chance of a thunderstorm. Winds: East to southeasterly 5 to 10 knots. Seas: Up to 1.0 metre. Swell 1: South to southwesterly around 1.0 metre. Swell 2: Southeasterly 0.5 to 1.0 metre. Max 29
The monsoon trough lies to the north of the Islands with an embedded low pressure system situated to the northwest of the Islands. The low is expected to slowly move west-southwesterly away from the Islands during the next few days. Winds will tend more northeast to northerly in the broad circulation of the low. Forecast for the rest of Friday 18 April Occasional showers with the chance of a thunderstorm. Winds: Northeasterly 10 to 15 knots. Seas: Around 1.0 metre. Swell 1: South to southwesterly 1.5 to 2.5 metres. Swell 2: Southeasterly around 1.5 metres. Max 31
Cirabon; 31C, wind; 5 Kmh variable, clear 0 mm
This will be updated each week.
“Here is your Caffeinus, Magister,” the slave girl Marti said.
“Gratias tibi,” replied Zoophilus. “Have one yourself.”
He turned to Verbo Ipsum and said, around a mouthful of Bologna Sausage, “This is great food. Nellus has outdone herself with today’s cooking. What is the tastiest sausage you have come across in your travels?”
“Hmmmm” mused Verbo. “There was a nice dish in Caledonia. Made from sheep intestines and oatmeal. That was good. Coming back towards Rome, I found nothing worthwhile in Gaul. They do stuff with eggs and frog legs. Not nice.”
“So Caledonian sausages are the best?” asked Literatus.
“Oh no. the Huns do some very good sausages,” replied Verbo. “Whenever you visit there, always be prepared for the wurst.
“Excellent Caffeinus!” Libertinus shouted across to Nellus the Barristerus.
And it was indeed an excellent blend, brought all the way from Libya and roasted to perfection by the Arabian traders in their quarter of Modern Rome.
Literatus the Librarian grumbled, ‘The Caffeinus may be good but I wonder at the young people of today. They have so little culture and their education is sadly lacking.”
“You really have a grump on today”, said Verbo Ipsum. “What has brought that on?”
“Walking here today I spotted a new graffiti carved on the west wall of this open space.” explained Literatus. “It read, ‘OMFG teh phoenecian suckz LOL’. Such immaturity. And their spelling!”
“Ahh”, exclaimed Verbo Ipsum, “What else can you expect from a Forum Poster.