Pre-Nissan

Nissan Automobiles were marketed under a different marque. And so these anachronistic events came to pass.

It was a mystery fit only for the great Sherlock Holmes, himself. The day after every full moon, members of a Japanese fraternity would be found dead in the hall on the fourth floor. The victims were crushed and there were signs of skid marks and tire tracks on the floor. Holmes was called into the case. It quickly became apparent that the only student that was not frightened was a young man named Nagawa who quickly became the object of Holmes’s suspicion.

The evening of the next full moon, while peering through the keyhole of Nagawa’s room, they saw that the student was no longer there, and in his place was a Japanese compact car!!!

The next morning Holmes confronted Nagawa. “When the moon is full, you become an automobile, and you run over your fellow students on the fourth floor.”

“But how did you know that?”, gasped Nagawa.

Holmes replied, “Elementary, my were-Datsun!!!”

At this, Nagwa panicked, and ran down the corridor. As he opened the door to escape, he turned into a car again, but as he expanded he became trapped in the doorway. The pressure was so great that he exploded and no trace of him was ever found, again.

But it rained Datsun cogs for days!

6 Responses

  1. You amaze me, sir. I had not heard those to the best of my (dim) recollection.

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  2. This one forced me to flop about in my chair in agony.

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  3. This is just being greedy. One is bad enough but two in the same … well, it’s two too much!

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  4. I’m sorry, I didn’t find this a groaner at all. I laughed out loud for both puns.

    I remember the days of Datsun, and how difficult it was to learn to call them Nissan. ONe of my first boyfriends in college was a rally driver and an ice racer who used a Datsun 240Z in these events. That was when the 240Z was about the hottest car short of a Porsche out there. He taught me how to drive on ice and how to develop the “I’m going really fast” attention. Those lessons have served me in good stead in the 30+ years since they were administered.

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  5. My fast driving took place in a TR7 and a Mini Cooper S, both belonging to boyfriends. They were really fun … my own cars, however, were much more mundane. A Morris Minor, a Fiat Bambino and a Ford Anglia. They didn’t go fast … in fact, sometimes they didn’t go at all.

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