Rare Timberlake Disease Fatal?

Justin Timberlake, for those who don’t know, is an American pop and R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer, and actor. He came to fame as the lead singer of pop boy band ‘N Sync and has won four Grammy Awards as well as an Emmy Award. In 2002, he released his debut solo album, Justified, which sold over seven million copies worldwide. Timberlake’s second solo release, FutureSex/LoveSounds, was released in 2006 with the U.S. number-one hit singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around… Comes Around”. With his first two albums, Timberlake has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. For a decade his partner was the now troubled Britney Spears.(With grateful thanks to Wikipedia)

With all that success, there are rumours that his life may tragically be shortened by an unusual disease!

Back in 2005, Timberlake discovered that he was suffering from a throat condition. What his medical team referred to as “nodules” were subsequently removed from his throat.

But what if they were not the normal “nodules” we expect to find on the larynx?

What if they were cellulosiverous Isoptera?

Doctors have revealed that there is no need for general panic as the disease appears to be genetically confined to the Timberlake family and is, in general, unlikely to affect the majority of the population. Although there is a possibility that the no longer stick-like Spears could also be harbouring the infection.

Isoptera would totally infest the Timberlake body and all his internal cellulose could be being consumed by these small, white, parasitic little critters.

By termites!

5 Responses

  1. Termites?!

    Hmm. Interesting thought.

    A few people I can think of who need to be infected as well.

    Can you arrange it?

    Like

  2. Ashleigh, you aren’t thinking of a John Howood, are you? Or a Peter Callistemon? Or Tony Ablackbutt? Or even a Joe Honckey Nut?

    Like

  3. That is a great spears picture!

    Like

  4. HUH?!?!?!? Is this article supposed to be funny or something??

    Like

  5. jokester, I wish it were a joke, but there is nothing funny about termites eating a guys internal cellulose. Alas, it is all true, Fair dinkum, mate.

    Like

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