101 Uses For A John Howard #60

Leading Australian political cartoonist, kudelka, again says what we have all thought but never dared to articulate. Although the world would have been a better place without its garden gnomes, Napoleon and Little Johnny.

Who can honestly say they haven’t gone out for a big Saturday on the piss and woken up on Sunday morning facing a pounding hangover, a grinning garden gnome and an ever-expanding black cloud of remorse and dismay? Well, if that sounds like your last four federal elections, you’re not alone, though admittedly most hangovers don’t last 3 years and rather than being humped around the world in a backpack, the gnome gets its own private jet.

Lawn ornament has been the most suggested post-retirement occupation for our Man Of Plaster, and what better lawn for him to adorn than the grassy sward in front of the White House? Frozen conveniently in the Suckhole Position he could provide succour to American Presidents for years to come. An added bonus is that no other country’s likely to nick him, no matter how pissed they might be at the time.

A comment made by a reader on the above cartoon was brilliantly insightful.
Surely there is an enterprising Young Liberal out there who can cut his entrepreneurial teeth on the bulk manufacture of this magnificent icon. Supporters of the Born To Rule Party can sport them in their dried up lawns, just in front of the flag pole.

In centuries to come, quizzical archeologists from alien realms will ponder the abundance of these miniature totems, correctly assuming they were a last ditch effort to placate the Great God Satan for the continued reign of His Chosen One at the arse end of the world.

2 Responses

  1. If we agree to put this lawn ornament on the White House lawn, we you take our illustrious leader for a gargoyle on the Sydney Opera House, after his term is up?

    Like

  2. Ian, sounds good – the Opera House will soon be inundated by rising ocean levels caused by the global warming we are not having.

    Like

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